


Meet Me, Know Me, Love Me

by Akan_Abrun



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angry Leonard, Bonding, Kolinahr (Star Trek), Leonard lives on vulcan, M/M, New Vulcan, Sarek loves Spock SHHH, Spock loves his dad shh, Swearing, Xenophobia, angry Vulcans, bondmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2018-12-04 11:53:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 31,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11554671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akan_Abrun/pseuds/Akan_Abrun
Summary: Leonard's shore leave gets ruined when Vulcan diplomats arrive on the beautiful planet.Leonard's shore leave gets annhiliated when Spock's father, Sarek, informs him that they're bondmates.No way in hell is Leonard going to New Vulcan with that pointy-eared bastardly hobgoblin.But when his only choices are: risks resulting from Sarek performing the ritual of kolinahr, and going quietly to New Vulcan, what will he do?





	1. In the beginning, there was peace... sort of.

Leonard was beginning to think that this was all some sort of plot against him. As if he was the protagonist of some kid's writing experiment, where the kid was determined to put Leonard through the most shit he could possibly handle, and see how he reacted to it.

Late nights in strange places got him to think about these philosophically depressing things.

In all reality he should not be complaining; they were on shore leave on a beautiful island on a gorgeously sustainable planet. The sun was hot, but not too hot for humans, and the upper-atmosphere was rich enough to protect the planet from ultraviolet radiation. The flora was absolutely breathtaking, with trees and flowers of various colors that glowed in the dark. No blood-sucking bugs, no diseased vermin, no war on drugs...

He had every right to be happy with what was happening. As he laid down on the sand, hands behind his head, looking up at all the stars and the two bright moons, he felt at peace. He took a deep breath of nice, oceany air and exhaled it all smoothly. Life was good.

So why was he complaining again?

Oh right.

Vulcans.

Not just any Vulcans, mind you. See, Leonard had no qualms with Vulcans like Spock (even though he was half human), or many other Vulcans he met in Starfleet. Those ones were usually polite, understanding.

THESE Vulcans were part of the esteemed Vulcan High Council, with a collective superiority complex that was so intense you'd've thought that they were Romulans. 

It was evident that the Vulcans that showed up here had an extreme distaste for any human within their sights. Even though one of the Vulcans in the party (the only one that Leonard actually knew by name) formerly had a human wife, he was also notably xenophobic.

So what were the living computers doing on this lovely planet? Negotiating, of course! The destruction of Vulcan was tragic, and New Vulcan sadly didn't have as many important resources as their former planet. While rich in plutonium, iron, and nitrogen deposits, it had a serious lack of other necessities. According to Spock, anyway.

What was worse was that since the diplomatic branch of the planet's government resided and worked on one specific island, both the Enterprise crew and the Vulcan diplomats were visiting on the same island. The island wasn't very big, either. One could walk from coast to coast in about ninety minutes (Leonard had done so twice already). So clearly, Leonard and the others were in very close proximity to people that loathed their culture and society. Great.

No, Leonard was going to make this enjoyable, damn it. He hadn't personally been on leave in a long while; every time the opportunity arose, he acquired some important duty to fulfill. He really had horrible luck, didn't he?

"Bones! Already miss the stars?" Jim's voice brought him out of his self-pitying.

"Yeah, like a bear misses a trap on its foot." Leonard remarked, earning a chuckle from his blond friend. He sat up, and Jim joined him on the sand.

"Why do you look like someone insulted your dead grandma?" Jim raised an eyebrow at him, and Leonard rolled his eyes.

"Someone may as well have. Those Vulcans'll insult any human, right?" Leonard scoffed. "They pride themselves on logic and yet they have a stigma towards another race's culture."

"Oh come on, Bones! It's not so bad! I doubt they'll even talk to us at all." Jim nudged him, trying to cheer him up. "Except Spock and his dad might make up again. Or get in a fight again. Who really knows with those two..."

"Yeah, the last time they agreed on something was after Spock saved his dad's life. Like one has to be in danger for them to be nice to each other." He grumbled, shaking his head. "That's a toxic relationship right there."

"Hey speaking of relationships..." Jim segwayed, earning The Look from Leonard.

"Did you get another STD? I swear to God Jim if I have to hypo you one more time for that-"

"NO! No. Just... don't bring that up." Jim chuckled sheepishly. "I'm thinking about making a move on one of my esteemed officers. But it's a person that might report me to the higher ups for sexual harassment if I do. So... I want your advice."

"God, Jim, for being such a great captain you sure are blind as hell." Leonard frowned at him, and Jim frowned back.

"I don't know whether to be flattered or offended..." Jim said slowly, and Leonard rolled his eyes.

"Of course Spock feels the same way about you. The two of you look at each other like you're the only people in the entire universe." Leonard said, and Jim gaped at him. "And the fact that I know it's Spock makes it even more obvious. I have never before seen a Vulcan so smitten with somebody. Trust me, Spock will be more than appreciative of your 'move' on him."

"You really think so?" Jim asked, and in that moment he looked more innocent and hopeful than a child on Christmas morning. Leonard could puke.

"Yep." Leonard stood and started making his way back to their hotel, Jim running to catch up with him.

"Also, there's another thing I should probably mention. Not about Spock, though." Jim said, not meeting Leonard's eyes. "It's about the Vulcan High Council... the hotel that they were staying in is having issues with their heating systems. And you know Vulcans need their heat. So uh... they'll be in the floor below us."

"Great," Leonard rolled his eyes. "Is it unreasonable that I get so irritated about them?" He kicked a pile of warm sand with his bare foot as they walked. In the distance they could hear kids playing in the tide pools. Wasn't it too late for kids to be out?

"I mean... you're just a bit borderline xenophobic. If you weren't my best friend, I'd probably be giving you a stern talking-to." Jim said with a laugh, earning a sidelong glare from Leonard. "But really, I can understand it. They're jerks. Even I have to watch myself on this trip; last time I was living with a jerk, I drove his car off a cliff."

Leonard laughed at that. He'd heard many stories from Jim about his childhood, but that one ended up being one of the most bizarre stories. That and the fact that he was shipped off to another planet and underwent a tyranny.

But that only counted if you were in the OTHER universe.

Things like that made Leonard's Old American Southern childhood look as interesting as a bowl of plain spaghetti. No sauce, no spice, just old lemonade tea, scorching summers, and a cheating wife. All that boring, traditional stuff.

Leonard hit the shower when he got back to his hotel room. He was lucky enough to get one by himself; it seemed as though the rest of the crew knew about his dislike for social circumstances. Good thing he was in Starfleet, on a ship (in space), with hundreds of people constantly milling around and breathing the air and...

Why did he join Starfleet? Was he too dramatic when he claimed that Jocelyn took the whole planet in the divorce? Figuratively, perhaps, since family was his whole world. Up until he found Clay and Jocelyn in their bed. But really, why retreat to space? He hated being up there, with all the threats and dangers.

Maybe he was just in search of a better life. Maybe he got PTSD from Earth and just had to avoid the whole planet in order to not be reminded of his dad and Jocelyn every damn day.

Whatever he's been in search for… he hasn't found it.

Even though he wasn't very tired, Leonard laid down on the queen size bed and pulled the blankets to his chin. He closed his eyes, and counted sheep until he drifted off.


	2. Vulcans have secrets too

Leonard, Nyota, Sulu, Chekov, Jim, and Spock all stood in waist deep water hitting a ball across them. Whoever let the ball touch the water lost, and had to go back to the dry sand and do push-ups until somebody else lost and took their place. It was a very rigorous game, but also very fun.

Everyone was surprised when Spock agreed to play, but Jim said that he was able to "convince" the man into joining. Whatever THAT meant. Spock was actually getting into the game, proving to be very competitive. They'd been playing for two hours and he hadn't lost once.

The second time Leonard lost, he made his way back to the sand slowly, enjoying the feel of the waves pushing and pulling at his legs. When he looked up, he saw a Vulcan Ambassador, Sarek, watching the group.

"Wanna join in on the game?" Leonard asked with a raised eyebrow, but Sarek just kept watching them.

"No. I needed to speak with my son, however it seems as though he is otherwise occupied." Sarek replied. "How much longer do you presume this activity will take to finish?"

"No clue." Leonard snorted, crossing his arms over his bare chest, and glancing back over to the group in the water. Everyone was shirtless except for Nyota, who had a bikini top on, and Spock, who was wearing a dark t-shirt. "Nobody's been able to make him lose, because of his reflexes. I bet you could beat him though."

"... Vulcans typically do not go in water. I see my son has taken a... liking... to it." Sarek said, and Leonard would've thought he'd be glaring if he didn't have that cemented Vulcan Expression.

"Yeah well, our captain managed to convince him to play. Spock is half human after all. You can't forget that." Leonard cast a sidelong glance at Sarek.

"I have not forgotten." He replied, and walked off without another word. Leonard glared at him as he left. The man was wearing some fancy, dark clothing. He wondered how Sarek wasn't burning hot in that outfit. The clothes were somewhat loose, but hugged his body in certain areas. Leonard wondered what kind of man was under those clothes.

... Then he realized that his thoughts were becoming very weird, so he turned away and began his push-ups until Chekov lost (again) and took his place.

\---

"I'm worried. What do you think they're talking about? Spock looks so uncomfortable..." Jim spoke quietly, staring to his left where Spock and his dad were standing together in the distance. Leonard glanced over, setting his iced drink down on the table where they sat. Both of the Vulcans were standing rigidly, hands behind their backs, no expression on their faces.

"Who knows? Sarek's probably just being an ass. He looks mad about something." He replied, joining Jim in watching the encounter between father and son.

"Does he? Oh god, that makes it worse." Jim sighed. "How can you tell? He looks pretty straight faced."

"I don't know... don't you get a vibe or something? It just looks like he's angry." Leonard shrugged, and Jim narrowed his eyes at him. "What?" Leonard asked with a glare at his friend.

"Nothing. I wanna go over there." Jim turned his attention back to the pair.

"You really wanna get involved in that?" Leonard snorted, taking a drink of his beverage. "Might look bad on you as a captain if you put yourself in their business."

"Can you do it?" Jim asked, looking at him with big, blue eyes. He almost looked cute. Leonard wanted to puke.

"No." He scowled at the blond, who frowned back at him.

"Do I have to make it an order?"

"Do I have to medically dismiss you from duty?"

"You can't do that without a second opinion." Jim told him, looking smug. Leonard took a long drink, savoring the ice cold liquid going down his throat. Jim stared at him expectantly. "Please, Bones? I really am worried. If Spock starts brooding over something his dad says then it'll only make this vacation suck for everyone."

"Fine, Jim, god. You owe me." He pointed at Jim's self-righteous face as he stood up and made his way over to the pair. As he neared them, they stopped talking.

"McCoy," Spock said, relaxing a bit at the man's presence. "Do you require something?"

"Nah, just wondering what you two kiddos are talkin' about!" Leonard feigned friendliness, giving Sarek a 'friendly' punch in the arm.

"Are you attempting to assault me?" Sarek asked, and Leonard felt a wave of condescension ebb from the man.

"It is a human custom, father. It conveys familiarity." Spock intervened, eyeing Leonard, who had backed away from the older Vulcan a bit. "McCoy, could you grant us privacy?"

"Nope. I have orders from the man-child back there to interrupt your conversation." He jerked his thumb behind him, and almost laughed when Spock shot Jim a look. "Jim said you were lookin' uncomfortable, and it seemed like this guy looked angry, so we wanted to keep the peace. For our vacation." He said, giving Spock The Look. Spock opened his mouth, then closed it again, as if he wanted to say something.

"Spock-"

"Did you-"

Sarek and Spock spoke at the same time, before Sarek said, "I will speak with you at 2300 tonight." He turned around and left, and Leonard scoffed.

"How in the hell will you know where to meet if he's always walkin' off like that?" Leonard said, making sure he was loud enough for Sarek to hear.

"We will find each other." Spock said vaguely, then stared at Leonard for a few moments. Again he opened his mouth, then closed it. Leonard crossed his arms, waiting. "Was it you that inferred upon the anger of my father?"

"Uh... yeah? If Jim actually looked at Sarek he'd've seen it too." Leonard said defensively. Spock nodded a little before turning and walking off toward's Jim. Leonard glared after him. What was it about Vulcans walking away from him all the time?!

Damn green-blooded, pieces of....


	3. Save a man and he gives you love... gross!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Saavik here has no connection to Lt. JG Saavik from The Wrath of Khan. I just short-circuited my brain from trying to be original with my Vulcan OC names. :)

After finishing a nice, long game of poker in Scotty's room, Leonard set off towards his own room so that he could try to sleep. It was a long, exerting day, so he anticipated that he'd sleep well. He was almost to his room when a strange feeling overcame him. He felt like he needed to go. He didn't know where, or why, just that he needed to GO.

Suddenly, Spock opened the door to a room and walked out into the hallway. "Hey, Spock." Leonard nodded, and Spock nodded back. "What're you doin' up so late? Isn't it like 2 in the mornin'?"

"I... I need to go somewhere." Spock replied slowly.

"Where? I need to go somewhere too, so I'll join you." Leonard said. Even though he was tired, he couldn't find it in him to turn around and go into his room.

"You may be needed." Spock told him, his voice dripping with uncertainty. They set off walking together.

"Why would I be needed?" Leonard snorted, but his amused demeanor diminished when he glanced at Spock's serious face beside him.

"Someone may be in danger." Spock said. "You said that you needed to go somewhere. Where is that?"

"I dunno." Leonard shrugged, choosing not to question Spock's morbidness about somebody being in danger. It's a peaceful goddamn planet! "I just got this sudden feeling to... to go somewhere. I don't know where."

"Fascinating." Spock exclaimed, earning a glare from Leonard.

As they kept walking, Leonard could feel that they were going in the right direction. They ended up outside, then they were walking the streets of the town, until Spock stopped him and signaled for him to listen. Leonard had to strain his old ears to hear the hushed voices from off a street in the distance.

"We cannot allow this to continue. You do not know what is best for our people. For years you have betraying tradition. The terms that you have proposed in this meaning are illogical! We simply do not have the assets to-"

"We only need to establish a labor force in order to harvest the needed resources. If we work harder, then we will have more resources to offer, and will in turn receive resources that we need. I do not understand how you fail to see the logic in this situation."

"We simply do not have the manpower for such an operation. In order to reconstruct our culture, we need those resources immediately- to build homes, and schools!- we-"

"Buildings can easily be constructed with the materials that we have access to now. If we just-"

"Sarek. This ends here. If you will insist on making these suicidal offers on behalf of our people, then it is logical that this will end. For the sake of all of our lives. We outweigh the life of the one, Sarek."

"Saavik, please, put down the knife."

Spock and Leonard exchanged a look before rushing in the direction of the voices. It was hard to see in the dim light, but he could make out the two forms standing on a street near them. Spock hesitated, probably to calculate odds or something, but Leonard rushed forward and tackled the so-called Saavik to the ground.

He got punched in the jaw before Spock wrenched him off, swiftly neck-pinching Saavik to leave him unconscious. Leonard stood up, his heart pounding. He frowned over at Sarek.

"You don't get along with anyone, do you?" Leonard said bluntly. Sarek opened his mouth to speak, but Spock interrupted.

"Leonard, you're-"

"Since when do you call me by my first name?" Leonard cut him off, but began feeling light-headed. Before he could grab onto something for support, he fainted.

~~~~

"I'll fuckin' kill you..." Leonard grumbled without thought, only half awake. His eyes fluttered open, and he saw that he was in his room. Sarek, Spock, and Jim were sitting around him.

"Bones! You're awake!" Jim exclaimed, leaning over him.

"Amazing observation, kid." Leonard growled, shoving Jim away. "Why is everyone gathered around me like I'm a human sacrifice?"

"You were cut along your forearm." Spock told him. "Since it was a deep cut, you passed out immediately due to blood loss."

"I figured you'd be more comfortable if you were in your own room, so we got medics to come here instead of taking you to the hospital." Jim said, which earned a glare from Leonard.

"Dammit, Jim! You know how unsanitary this is? I could've contracted a myriad of-"

"WELL WE SHOULD BE GOING!" Jim said over him, pulling on Spock. "Spock and I have some reports to write up, due to this... incident. Glad you're okay, Bones! Bye!" Jim pulled Spock out of the room, and Leonard sighed angrily. Damn blond, god-complex, son of a-

"Why're you here?" Leonard asked Sarek, actually acknowledging his presence. The man looked at him, his face as blank as ever.

"I feel somewhat responsible for your injuries. I stayed here to ensure your recovery." Sarek explained calmly, and Leonard shook his head.

"Well I don't need you here, I'm fine. You damn Vulcans gotta learn to just... lay off." He said angrily, feeling exhausted. He settled back into the bed, turning away from the Vulcan. "Go back to your duties, I hear you're doin' a mighty fine job."

After a few moments, he heard the man behind him stand up and leave. He took a deep breath. He barely had time to analyze the bad taste in his mouth or the empty feeling in his chest before he fell asleep again.

\---  
///

Spock was aware of the situation that was developing between his father and his friend; it was obvious, and any Vulcan could have realized such a thing. He only wondered if his father knew himself what was developing...

He reached out minutely with his mind, trying to get a sense of where exactly his father was. When he established a basic link to guide him, he politely excused himself from Jim's company and began his journey towards the beach.

Spock found his father standing rigidly, staring out at the sea. He walked forward to stand by his side.

"Father." Spock said, glancing at Sarek. The man didn't respond, so Spock waited silently, looking out at the sea, trying to find out what his father found so interesting to stare at it so intensely.

"I had intended to remarry. The destruction of our planet has been detrimental to Vulcan society, and so I thought it appropriate to participate in repopulation." Sarek said quietly, and Spock looked over at him. He looked solemn. "I visited T'Vosh, who has become renowned amongst our people for finding bondmates for those currently without."

"A matchmaker?" Spock asked, and Sarek nodded.

"Essentially, yes. Her great grandmother was a Betazoid, so she is exceptionally sensitive to the psyches amongst our people. She can sense the minds of everyone in our colony, which makes her the logical consultant for seeking out a bondmate." Sarek explained, and Spock knew where this was leading. "During my visit with her, she informed me that there was nobody on the planet that would be compatible with me."

"Is that why you've chosen to accept more interplanetary assignments?" Spock asked, and Sarek again nodded.

"Yes. T'Vosh recommended that I, like many others that had visited her before me, seek out partnership off-planet." He paused there, and Spock could sense his mixture of emotions swelling within him. "It was not my intention to... I did not anticipate that it would result in... this."

"Are the others aware of...?" Spock asked, him and his father stepping back as a wave approached their feet.

"I have not spoken of it." They stood there silently for a few minutes. "I am unsure as to how to proceed."

"I am unsure as to whether he would be amenable to... to anything." Spock said hesitantly. "He proclaims an hatred for living in space, but he and the captain are very close."

"I am also aware of his odium towards our people."

"'Our' people?" Spock raised an eyebrow at him, and Sarek finally looked over at him.

"You are my son. My culture is your own." Sarek told him. Spock didn't know how to respond.

"We depart in three days. Are you going to confront Leonard?" Spock asked hesitantly.

"I and the other representatives of Vulcan leave in two days. I am afraid that I simply do not have the time." Sarek said, and Spock turned to him fully.

"It is extremely unhealthy to not establish a bond with the one which you are most compatible." He told him, and Sarek sighed minutely.

"I will not force him to be with me. The only solution now is to undergo kolinahr and-"

"Please, father, no..." Spock interrupted. "For years we have been mending our relationship with one another. Now that you and I are finally at an understanding... You must at least try to talk with him."

"To what avail, Spock?" Sarek turned to him now, anger rising within him. "My very presence is distasteful to him. If I speak to him, he will only grow more angry towards me, and possibly the entire Vulcan species."

"Let me speak with him first." Spock tried. "Inform him of Vulcan customs and possibly better his opinion of you. It would also allow me to inform him of my own relationship."

"He is already well aware." Sarek raised an eyebrow at him.

"... I see. Regardless, I will go talk with him." Spock turned to leave.

"He is... occupied... at the moment." Sarek informed him.

"Occupied in what way?" Spock asked, and Sarek turned away.

"I believe he is engaging in intercourse at the moment." His father said, and Spock felt a small wave of sorrow run through him. He felt sorrow for his father.

Spock put his hand on Sarek's shoulder, trying convey feelings of comfort and peace to him, and walked back to the hotel.

\\\\\  
\---

Leonard showered, scrubbing himself free of every outside particle and every speck of bacteria he could have possibly acquired. He made sure to carefully avoid his cut arm, which was healing too slowly for comfort. He didn't exactly know what he was thinking, going out to the bar and bringing some pretty lady back to his hotel room.

It was routine. It was quick. Clearly it was something that they'd both done before. Leonard picked up random women for weeks after his divorce. The lady that he'd brought to his room, Klinakla (a native), did this for work. She was out of the vicinity as soon as she got her money.

Leonard made sure to give her a good tip.

This was the first time he ever actually felt gross after sex. No matter how questionable, horrible, or strange sex had been with others before, he never really felt gross. Sex was sex. A way to relieve stress. It was healthy (as long as protection was used- which he ALWAYS did).

So why did he feel gross this time? Klinakla was beautiful, clean, and the sex was good. And yet... it just felt bad. He didn't know why, or how, but the idea of having sex again with anyone was gross. And it sort of freaked him out.

He wracked his brain, trying to figure out how much his thinking had changed. He went through all the people he knew, to see if his Fuck Or Not opinions had changed.

Jim? He'd thought about it before, but now it seemed wrong, especially now that he was with Spock. Spock? Hell no, for some reason he'd been feeling like a father-figure towards Spock. Nyota? He would have before, but now it repulsed him. Same with Christine. Sulu? Gross. Scotty? Gross. Any of the nurses? Gross. Jocelyn? Disgusting. Sarek?

Leonard felt warm suddenly as he thought of the man. His heart fluttered, and suddenly he panicked. His heart never "fluttered." Not since high school prom, with Jocelyn in that silky dress, where he promised her that he'd dance with her until the end of time.

Maybe he was having a heart attack.

That only made him panic even more. He shakily got out of the shower and dried himself off. Leonard tried focusing on the task at hand, trying with much effort to actually get his underwear on.

He went to his bed and sat, rubbing his hands over his face, which felt warm. Increased body temperature, rapid heartbeat, sudden weakness...

Oh god, he was dying.

"One two three four five six seven eight nine ten," he counted out loud, trying to calm himself. He'd be hyperventilating if he wasn't suddenly out of breath. He stood weakly and made his way into the hallway. Spock's room was closer than Jim's, so he knocked on the door rapidly.

Spock opened the door, and before he could say anything, Leonard said, "Spock I think I'm having a heart attack. Can you please contact a-"

Talking only made it worse. He almost felt like crying. He just had an insane wave of fear overcome him.

Somehow, he ended up sitting on Spock's bed, breathing rapidly.

Eventually medical personnel came, asking him questions, but he couldn't understand what they were saying. He didn't even know how to talk.

He felt a hand on his face, and he felt a cooling sensation before everything went black.

~~~

When he woke up, he felt heavy and exhausted. He sat up, and saw that Spock was sitting on a chair beside the bed. He felt pain in his arm from the cut and the recent stress from his body.

"You were having a panic attack." Spock told him, and Leonard took a deep breath. He put his hand on his bare chest. His heart didn't feel pained, and his heartbeat was back to normal. He was a damn doctor! He should've known the difference between a goddamn heart attack and a panic attack! Maybe it was the panic that convinced him that it was something worse.

"That hasn't happened to me since I first went into space..." Leonard said, feeling weak. "Sorry for troubling you, Spock."

"It was no trouble, Leonard." Spock said calmly. Leonard stood up.

"I think I oughtta go take a walk. Clear my head a bit." He grumbled, rubbing his forehead.

"Contact me if you need to." Spock said, not moving from his chair. He looked and sounded like he was thinking deeply. Leonard nodded, and exited the room.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Sarek standing against the wall in the hallway. "Good god, man! You scared me." Leonard put a hand on his chest again in some bizarre method to calm down.

"I apologize." Sarek said, looking him up and down swiftly before looking away from him altogether. Leonard felt warm.

"You here for Spock? Despite what this looks like, he and I weren't doing anythin' inappropriate." He said, remembering that he was only in his boxers.

"I know. I came here because I was... concerned." Sarek said hesitantly, still not looking at him. Leonard rolled his eyes before making his way towards his room. Sarek followed him.

"Why're you so concerned about me?" Leonard asked, feeling somewhat offended. "It's not like I'm important to you." He said, feeling somewhat disappointed. Why in the hell was he disappointed?! It's not like Sarek was very important to him either.

Right?

He opened his door, and left it open, before getting dressed. He really needed that walk.

"I wish to speak with you." Sarek said after being silent for so long. He stood in the doorway, as if he was afraid of stepping foot into Leonard's abode. As much as Leonard told himself that he should tell Sarek to screw off, he just... couldn't. He felt pained at the very thought. And although he wouldn't admit it out loud, or on the surface of his clear consciousness, he almost felt like he WANTED to talk to Sarek. To be in his presence. To just be around him.

He was full of weird feelings tonight.

"Well I'm gonna go on a walk, so go ahead and join me if you want." Leonard mumbled, pulling a shirt on and walking to the door.

Together they exited the hotel, and walked along the streets of the tiny town. He walked the beach enough times, so he felt like going through the town would be a nice change. New sights and whatnot.

After ten minutes of silence, Leonard asked, "So what did you wanna talk with me about?" Sarek took a few moments before clasping his hands behind his back and replying.

"As you are well aware, Vulcans as a people are struggling. We are trying to rebuild our culture, and our population." Sarek began, and Leonard shoved his hands in his pockets as he waited for the man's point. "It has become detrimental to our health that we actively seek out our bondmates, and establish those bonds in order to regain purpose in life. Our bonds are very important- even more so now that we are all that we have left."

Sarek paused for a long while. Leonard didn't know how to respond to this, or whether he even needed to respond in the first place. He got the sense that Sarek was nervous, and apprehensive. Hesitant, even. Leonard didn't know Vulcans could so plainly feel those things.

".... For those who are unable to find their bondmate, or if their bondmate is unable or unwilling to be with them... it is so damaging that kolinahr is the only solution left." Sarek said quietly, walking tensely.

"What's... kolinahr?" Leonard asked, noticing the negative feeling he got when Sarek mentioned it.

"It is a Vulcan ritual to purge all emotion. Prior to the destruction of Vulcan, kolinahr was viewed as a respectable endeavor. However, our customs are actively changing. Many disagree with the reformation that our culture has been undergoing, but I personally perceive it to be essential for our regrowth." Sarek explained, and Leonard felt as though he was meeting him for the first time. This didn't seem to be the same man that he'd encountered before. Perhaps he was finally accepting modern customs into his life.

Or, well, this WAS the first time that Leonard had actually had a real conversation with Sarek.

"I'm not gettin' where I tie into this." Leonard said, staring at the ground as he walked. He enjoyed the nice, cool air on his skin.

"Sometimes bondmates are chosen for us. I had betrothed Spock to T'Pring, but admittedly that was a mistake on my part." Sarek went back to explaining. "In most cases, however, bonds are formed automatically. It can, in rare cases, take place without the Vulcan's knowledge or consent. In that case, it means that the compatibility between the two persons is so perfect- so logical- that to sever the bond would be... disastrous. Such a strong bond would never be found with another."

"So you're sayin' that you gotta whack wherever you feel the mojo, or else you lose your marbles?" Leonard snorted. Goddamn crazy Vulcans.

"I do not understand your metaphors." Sarek replied, making Leonard roll his eyes.

"I meant: you need to fuck a specific person, or else you'll go crazy. Isn't that a bit ridiculous?" He asked, kicking a small rock down the street.

"... Sexual intercourse is not always required." Sarek said, and suddenly Leonard felt that warming sensation flow throughout his body again. "But if we are not in constant proximity with that person, then we will suffer the consequences."

"And that's just... how you are? You can't change that?" Leonard asked.

"That is correct." Sarek replied quietly. "I wished to talk with you about... the possibility of..." He struggled for words, and Leonard guessed that this was the first time he'd witness a Vulcan butcher talking so much. Even Spock was usually more collected than this. Except when it came to Jim, of course. "I wish to ask for your opinion." Sarek finally said.

"My opinion? On what? Why me?" Leonard showered him with questions. Why would a human computer be asking HIM (a HUMAN) for his opinion? Surely he could calculate his goddamn opinion. Spock seemed fond of doing that...

"You are one of the only respectable non-Vulcans that I am somewhat familiar with." Sarek replied, and Leonard didn't know whether to be insulted or not. "Your captain would likely be biased on the topic, given recent circumstances, so I shall not ask him."

"Can't you talk to Spock about this?" Leonard asked, feeling on the spot.

"I have discussed it with him." Sarek answered. Leonard nodded and waited for him to explain. "A bond has been established between myself and a non-Vulcan. The bond established itself, and I had no part in its construction. This person is somebody that I am somewhat unfamiliar with. I am under the impression that they despise me, as well as my people. They do not know about the bond, and it is likely that if they found out... they would never speak to me again."

"What does Spock think you should do?" Leonard asked, not knowing how to answer him.

"Spock claims that kolinahr will erase any close relation that he and I have established throughout the years, and that I should try to convince my bondmate to come to an agreement with me." Sarek replied. Leonard took a deep breath, looking at the beautiful buildings around them.

"God, you Vulcans are invasive by default, aren't you? And here I thought they taught all of you as kids to try and torment every other species you meet..." Leonard scoffed, shaking his head. "Look. You ought to talk to the person. If they say no to you, there ain't nothin' you can ethically do. If they say yes, well, yippee."

"You think it best that I approach my bondmate with this?" Sarek asked, and Leonard nodded. Sarek stopped walking suddenly, so Leonard stopped and turned towards him. "Dr. McCoy..." he said, hesitantly. "You are my bondmate."

Leonard hardly had time to process those words before his fist connected with Sarek's face.


	4. Fights, sensitive Spock, the big decision

"Bones, you are so lucky that he's not accusing you of any crimes. You could have gotten time for punching him! He's a goddamn Vulcan ambassador!" Jim exclaimed, pacing around Leonard's room.

"That is true, Leonard. My father would have not been so lenient with another." Spock said from where he stood against the wall, watching Jim's pacing.

"Are you guys even comprehending MY point of view?!" Leonard asked angrily, gesturing at them with his hands. "He goes on this long ass shpeel about Vulcan customs and all that shit, and then he accuses ME of being HIS bondmate! What the fuck else was I supposed to do? Fall into his arms and coo at him, 'oh yes, take me now!'?!"

"Would you have preferred he went out and said it out of the blue, without an explanation?! At least he was courteous enough to give you the full story." Jim argued, stopping his pacing to look at him.

"Full story my ass!" Leonard yelled. "You and Spock had a goddamn mutual connection before Spock gave you the news about it! Sarek and I don't even know each other!"

"Which is not his fault, Leonard." Spock said calmly, crossing his arms. "Jim and I serve aboard a starship together, and we have done so together for-"

"For a long ass time, Bones." Jim cut Spock off. "You and Sarek don't know each other because he works on his own planet, and you go adventuring with us. There's no way he could've brought this to you slowly."

"Given that this may very well have been the last time that the two of you see each other, this was his only hope of trying to-"

"Trying to WHAT, Spock?!" Leonard turned on him, pointing an accusing finger at him. "What, were you hoping that I'd... I'd..."

"You have no idea what you must do." Spock said matter-of-factly.

"What do you mean? Isn't it self-evident? I have to play the role of his... his... his WIFE!" Leonard said, walking closer to Spock, who didn't react.

"The only thing required from you so that Sarek doesn't have to undergo kolinahr is that you remain in close proximity with him." Spock told him, hardly able to hide his anger. "You do not need to 'play the role of his wife.' The only thing that must be done for either of you to be content is that you constantly be in close proximity with each other."

"Please, I doubt that will make ME feel content. Why doesn't he just go through with kolinahr, huh? He's already an emotionless bastard!" Leonard almost yelled.

"IT IS YOUR BOND TOO!" Spock yelled, before taking a breath and backing away further from him. Jim walked to him and put an arm around him. "From the moment the bond had established itself between the two of you," Spock explained, back to his calmed state, "you have been feeling his emotions. You have been aware of his state of health. The way you can sense what he is feeling, and when you felt the need to find him when he was in danger... it is the bond that has already rooted itself so deeply within you."

"So what, Spock?" Leonard crossed his arms defiantly.

"You are not a Vulcan. You cannot undergo kolinahr..." Spock said hesitantly. "If he performs the ritual, and purges all of his emotion, then you will be in a constant state of emptiness. The way that you are now, the reasons for which you live... they will be eradicated if Sarek himself becomes empty."

"... You mean..." Leonard frowned at the floor, trying to wrap his head around this. "If he throws away emotion... then I'll become empty too?"

"The human equivalent, yes." Spock muttered.

"You'll become so empty that you won't feel any purpose for being alive." Jim supplied, looking at him solemnly. Leonard took a deep breath.

Despite how much he wanted to argue, to say that he'd never recede into that state of being... he couldn't argue with it. He could feel that it was true. Of course he felt Sarek's presence at the back of his mind. It was a strange thing. But if he imagined that presence being lifeless... he felt a pain in his chest.

"... What do I do?" Leonard asked, almost too quietly to be heard. He sat down on his bed. Jim came to sit beside him, and Spock walked over to stand in front of them.

"Maybe you could go to New Vulcan with him... just to test the waters." Jim suggested.

"You say it like you want me gone." Leonard said dryly.

"Of course not, Bones." Jim wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "You're my best friend. But I would rather you go with him than... the alternative."

Leonard nodded, feeling his face where he'd been punched. Then he remembered that Saavik punched the opposite side of his face, and that he was touching where he'd socked Sarek. The area was in pain, as if he himself had been hurt there.

Maybe the bond really was stronger than he'd thought.

\---

After sleeping on it and taking a day to think about his options, Leonard came to a decision about his predicament with the Vulcan. He really did think about it, and he figured that this decision would suit the both of them the best.

He went to Jim with this decision, sitting on one of the many chairs set out along the beach.

"You done moping around?" Jim joked, smiling at him. Leonard glared back at him.

"Well, I made my decision." Leonard said resolutely, and Jim gestured for him to go on. "The answer is no."

"... 'No'?" Jim asked, gawking at him.

"No, I'm not going to Vulcan with that hobgoblin." Leonard told him.

"Bones, were you even THERE last night? You know the dangers-"

"See, there won't be any REAL dangers, will there?" Leonard tried reasoning with him. "That guy will go and get rid of what little amount of emotions he has now, and I'll just shove all his drama out of my mind. I doubt that he and Spock's relationship will be affected."

"Bones-"

"I'm not going, Jim." Leonard said, more sternly now. "Nobody can make me go. I'm not givin' my consent, and that's that. I'm ready to put this whole thing behind me."

Jim didn't mention it again, to which Leonard was grateful. He just wanted to enjoy his goddamn vacation!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. I needed a transition! ╚═( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)═╝


	5. THAT didn't last long...

Back on the Enterprise, things went on like normal. Well, except for the fact that Spock wasn't as friendly with Leonard anymore. And that Leonard couldn't stop thinking about Things. But other than that, things were going smoothly.

Even though Leonard tried his darnedest to keep that Vulcan's "presence" tucked, gated, locked, and hidden deep in the back of his mind, he couldn't help but feel it ripple to the front of his thoughts at times. He would be sitting at his desk and feel a wave of anger. He would be working with a patient and feel his stomach drop with sadness. He would be reading in his quarters and suddenly feel threatened. Each time, he knew that the emotions didn't stem from him, but from Sarek. But that didn't mean that he wasn't affected by it.

This only made him wonder how much of Leonard's emotions Sarek felt. Humans were more emotional by nature, more accepting of their emotions, and more willing to show it. If Leonard felt something, would the other man feel it too? Would it be continuous, unlike how Leonard senses Sarek's emotions only when they were strongest?

In the beginning it was easy to ignore that curiosity, to tuck it away because it wasn't important. But after days, then weeks, the curiosity became more and more difficult to ward off. Even though he was a somewhat stoic man, he still felt as much as the next human did. He experienced happiness, anger, desire, sadness, fear, excitement. If Sarek felt all of these things coming from him, then would he be effected by it?

In the end, there was only one man that he could ask about all of this.

Once he worked up the cojones to actually put one foot in front of the other, Leonard ended up in Spock's quarters, sitting across from the half-Vulcan at the small table. He asked Spock about what he had been thinking about earlier- if he was just a record playing on repeat in Sarek's head.

"Essentially, yes. However, using the analogy you provided, it is possible for my father to... 'turn down the volume' of your presence in his mind." Spock told him. Leonard tried not to visibly show his minute confusion.

"Then why can't he just mute it and forget that I exist?" Leonard asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Other than the fact that Vulcans have an eidetic memory and do not simply 'forget,' it would be impossible for him to 'mute' you. Shared emotions are a constitution of a Vulcan bond." Spock explained, and Leonard made a face. A distasteful face.

"So he knows what I'm feeling at all times." Leonard said, and Spock nodded, crossing his arms. Leonard's arms were also crossed. "Is he affected by what I feel? 'Example, if I feel sad, will he also feel sad?"

"Perhaps." Spock replied slowly. "If he has enough mental willpower, then he would be able to ward off your feelings within his mind. However, it is more likely that he feels exactly as you do."

"Always?"

"Always."

"Well shit." Leonard leaned back in the chair with a sigh. He almost felt bad for Sarek. Almost.

"You are not reconsidering your decision to-"

"Nope!" Leonard interrupted Spock, already knowing what he was going to ask. "I ain't reconsiderin' nothin'." He stood up, and when Spock opened his mouth to speak, Leonard said, "And I don't wanna hear what you have to say about double negatives; you know what I meant." Spock shut his mouth. Leonard turned to leave, but stopped at the door. "Hey... thanks for answerin' my questions."

"You may seek me out anytime... Leonard." Spock said, and Leonard nodded and left.

\---

Leonard slept peacefully in his bed- that is, until he woke up with such a jolt that he managed to fall to the floor.

There was that sensation again: the NEED for Leonard to go, to seek out Sarek. He knew the man was in danger.

He may have left the man on his own, but he was a doctor, dammit, and he wasn't about to ignore this feeling. If someone was in danger, then he was going to try his damn best to assist.

So he did what any rational being would do.

He sprinted on over to Spock's quarters, immediately using the medical override. As soon as he entered, he commanded the lights on to 75%. He looked over at the bed to see Spock sitting up, a sleeping blond next to him. Leonard almost rolled his eyes.

"Leonard, I know that I said that you could see me at any time, but-"

"We need to skip formalities, Spock, your dad's in danger." Leonard said, trying to ignore the fact that this was the first time out of Sickbay that he'd seen Spock shirtless. He looked so... vulnerable. Like a puppy. Leonard shoved the idea out of his mind; there were bigger things to worry about. The bad feeling in his chest reminded him of that.

"Are you certain?" Spock asked quietly, nonetheless getting out of bed and walking towards his monitor. Leonard was relieved that Spock had pants on.

"Yes. Can't you feel it? It's like the first time. Only there's more... fear." Leonard explained, sweating and wringing his hands together.

"I am establishing communications to Vulcan. I will contact their security department." Spock explained, sitting at the desk. "My bond with him, it seems, is not as strong as yours."

"Wuht? Whas happenin'?" Jim slurred, waking up.

"Spock, hurry." Leonard demanded, not knowing where his sudden commanding attitude came from.

"I am trying, Leonard." Spock replied calmly, and Leonard had to sit down at the table before his knees gave out. There was a sickening, bad feeling spreading through his body. He didn't know if it was him feeling this way or Sarek. "Jim, it appears my father is in danger." He heard Spock say, somewhere in the distance. 

"Spock, I feel..." Leonard's vision started blurring. He felt like he'd gotten crossfaded with copious amounts of indica marijuana and a dangerous amount of alcohol... not like he'd know what that was like... Not at all. In any case, he felt himself fading in and out, and he sort of felt like he was going to throw up, cry, throw up some more, and then curl up and die.

Then everything went completely dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!


	6. We accidentally had to take you to Vulcan, sorry!

Leonard woke up, feeling hot. Even though he felt awake, he didn't really have the energy to do anything. He couldn't muster up the strength to open his eyes, or even shift his body to a more comfortable position.

Then he heard voices. One man, one woman. The man was Spock. Leonard couldn't understand what they were saying.

Then a word stood out to him: "shi'has." He knew they were speaking Vulcan, but Leonard didn't know an ounce of that language. He hadn't even taken a Vulcan language class in Starfleet (even though it was highly recommended). So why did this word stand out to him?

Then he remembered. It was a requirement that he recognized medical terms in other languages spoken within the Federation. Shi'has... shi'has... hospital?

Leonard opened his eyes, weakly. Blinking, he saw that he was, in fact, in a hospital.

"...has-mar... bohrau..." the lady was speaking, and again Leonard only recognized some words. They weren't particularly important without context. It just made him even more positive that he was in a Vulcan hospital.

Wait...

A Vulcan hospital?! On Vulcan?!?!

Leonard groaned before trying to muster up the strength to move. The woman appeared over him suddenly, pushing him into the bed.

"You must not move." She said, with a subtle accent. She was dressed in all white.

"Where am I?" Leonard asked weakly. "Spock?"

"I am here." Spock said, taking the place of the woman, who quickly retreated. "You are in a hospital on Vulcan, and-"

"I'm WHAT?!" Leonard asked loudly.

"Please refrain from yelling... or panicking." Spock said calmly. Leonard glared up at him. "Upon contacting a Vulcan official, I was informed that my father was rendered unconscious a short amount of time before you also fainted. My father began the process of kolinahr upon his arrival on Vulcan, but it seems as though the process has been exceptionally complex."

"But WHY bring ME HERE?!" Leonard asked, hardly occupying himself with Sarek's current state of being.

"It was determined to be a necessary course of action, considering the caveat of both of your conditions." Spock told him. "My father will be unable to undergo kolinahr. It is imperative that you stay here with him, Leonard. It is clear now that the results of the contra may be more dangerous than anticipated."

Leonard sighed. He sighed long and hard. He hadn't sighed like that since Jim managed to get an allergic reaction from shaking hands with an alien child.

"When can I get up?" Leonard asked, and Spock looked around.

"I believe you have the strength to do so, however I do not recommend it." Spock said hesitantly. Leonard sat up slowly, feeling weak, but not as shitty. He took a few deep breaths before swinging his legs off the bed and standing. He instinctively reached for Spock's shoulder for support, who stood sturdily enough to help him gather his strength.

Leonard looked around as he took his hand off of Spock. He was in a bigger private room, with no windows. He almost felt like he was in an institution, which didn't help his nerves. Sarek was sleeping on biobed behind him. Leonard tried not to pay too much attention to the man.

It all felt unreal, like it was a dream. Last thing he knew, he was in Spock's quarters. Now he was halfway across the quadrant, in a Vulcan hospital, next to a man that he frankly hadn't wanted to see again for the rest of his life. He glanced back at Sarek. Leonard WAS glad that the Vulcan was okay. It was sort of good to see him.

Wait, what was he saying?

Good to see him?! GOOD to see HIM?! Good to SEE him?! GOOD?!?!

Yeah, it was actually kinda good to see him. Leonard couldn't really deny that. Whenever he even looked at Sarek, he felt a wave of comfort come over him. It made him feel like he was... home.

Leonard pushed it out of his mind. He tried to ignore the fact that Spock was analyzing him, and made his way to the counter at the wall to look at their medical tech. Something to distract himself.

But then the biggest annoyance in the entire quadrant barged into the room. "BONES! You're awake! You need to stop passing out, you know." Jim exclaimed, coming up and hugging him out of nowhere. After trying to get him to let go (and failing), Leonard gave up and hugged him back.

"I know." He replied quietly. Jim clung to him tighter. What a sentimental kid. Leonard felt a sudden wave of anger, jealousy, and discomfort run through him. He glanced over to see that Sarek was sitting up, and glancing over at them. Leonard felt the sudden need to pull away, like he was doing something wrong. But dammit, Jim was his friend! He clung to him tighter before they both pulled away.

"So now that we're all here to discuss," Jim clapped his hands together, flashing that bright smile as he turned to point at Leonard, "you're staying here."

"Ha, funny, you-"

"No arguing, Bones." Jim interrupted him, looking stern now. "It's clear now that the two of you being apart will be pretty dangerous. For the both of you."

"Jim, I'm sure that we can-" Leonard was going to argue, but Jim only interrupted again.

"I already fired you." He said, and Leonard was silent. He took a few moments to process this.

Jim fired him? Jim fired him. Leonard no longer served aboard the Enterprise. He could reenlist on another ship, but that could take months if not longer. And even if he did get a position on another ship, he'd probably end up as a lowly Gamma Shift doctor.

Jim, his first friend, his captain. Maybe the last human face he'll ever see. If Bones throws away his last shot, is this how Jim will remember him? What if this is his legacy? What the hell even IS a legacy?

"I..." Leonard croaked out, unable to speak any further. After everything… EVERYTHING that they had been through... Jim is just tossing him? Every time that Leonard needed to remove Jim from active duty due to an illness or a distressful situation, it broke Leonard's heart. Sure he threatened Jim with that a lot, but he was always just joking. To remove his best friend from a position that he loved so much, that he worked so hard to get...

Leonard sat down.

"Bones, this doesn't mean that I don't love you- you're my best friend- I just needed to weigh your health and-" Leonard cut him off with his hand.

"I understand." He said quietly.

"Are you sure? Because I-"

"Don't. Push. It." Leonard ground out, taking a deep breath. He needed some air. It was getting to tight in here.

He stood up and walked out of the room, into a long hallway of doors. He made his way through the building until he found an exit. He was wearing patient's clothing, simple tan colored shirt and pants, so that combined with the fact that he was an alien got him a lot of stares as he made his way around.

The way Saavik and Sarek had been talking all those nights ago about rebuilding Vulcan made it sound like they were still in the Stone Age. Well... maybe this was the Vulcan equivalent of the Stone Age, but as far as Leonard could tell, they were already thriving. Sure it wasn't MODERN, but they were getting there pretty quickly.

Tall, clean buildings, stone streets, signs, people walking around peacefully... it seemed a lot better than what everyone was saying.

Vulcans and their damn secrets...

Leonard began walking around. Since he was evidently going to be living in this god forsaken place, it was probably for the best that he'd become familiar with the environment.

As he ventured around, he made a mental map for where everything was. All the signs on the streets and buildings were in Vulcan, which didn't exactly help him out much. He got a vague sense of where the residential areas, downtown/marketplace, and service buildings were located.

One thing that shocked him the most was that even though it was so damn hot (even Leonard felt like he was dying from heat stroke already), everyone was dressed fairly heavily. He knew that Vulcans didn't appreciate skin exposure, but he figured that their clothes would be looser, thinner, and more fitting for the climate. What shocked him even more, though, was that the kids practically ran around naked. Okay, not NAKED, but the boys at least hardly wore shirts half the time. Maybe heat tolerance was something that Vulcans had to learn as they grew up?

He looked up at the yellow-purple sky, seeing the Enterprise orbiting high above ground. Leonard figured that this might be the last time that he'd actually see the ship.

He was ready to say good riddance to the Dark Abyss of Death and Disease (DADD??) that space was, but he wasn't ready to say goodbye to his friends. His family. After he had to say goodbye to everything he knew, Jim was right there, a bright beacon ready to shine off the darkness within Leonard. From there he met Spock, Uhura, Chekov, Christine, Scotty, Sulu, and all of the other wonderful people on the Enterprise.

Leonard figured that the day he'd give them up would be the day that he died. Never would he have imagined that Jim would take him off the crew himself. His best friend...

As much as Leonard knew that this had to be done, he couldn't help but feel as though he'd been betrayed. Somehow, someway, this was an even worse pain than what he had felt when he found Clay's naked ass over Jocelyn in their own bed. His Jocelyn. The woman whom he'd promised that he'd dance with until the end of time. Jim, his captain, whom he'd promised to serve with until the end of his captaincy (and beyond (no pun)).

Leonard didn't know how to deal with it.

He just needed to be alone for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know AOS shows very much clothed kids, but I decided to go with Gene on this one and use the TAS clothing scheme. ;3
> 
> ps good job to you beautiful children who catch the reference (which is totally not there btw lol tbh)


	7. Unwanted

If Leonard had learned anything from his past, it was that bizarre situations would only get worse and worse for him. It all tied in to his musings on shore leave a while back; someone, or something, surely had something against him. He didn't necessarily believe in god, but damn it if it didn't feel like he was being thrown around like a ragdoll.

Yes, Jim, let's ignore your punishment and sneak you onto a ship. Oh also, lets negotiate with terrorists too! That sounds great. Sure, I'll patch up this living rock! Or how about I end up the father of a child that ain't even mine?! Or how about-

Leonard cut himself off before he got too carried away. He could blame some all-powerful force all he wanted. He wasn't a character in some show or movie or book, damn it. He was a living, breathing man! He could make his own decisions!

It just turned out that the only decisions he could actually make was whether he should go out into the town or stay at "home" to brush up on his Vulcan. Sarek had insisted that he didn't need to work, but Leonard wasn't some damn housewife! 

It had been about a month since Leonard had officially moved into Sarek's house. Well, it was more like a mansion. To hell those who say Vulcans only cared about practicality; Sarek's house could comfortably fit five people in it, and yet it had only been him living there all this time. Leonard got that Sarek had an important, high paying job, but WHY would he decide to live in such a large house? He remembered Spock saying something about his dad being "fond of luxuries" but this was a bit much.

Smooth stone countertops, lavish furniture, open rooms... it was almost old-fashioned. There were three bedrooms, a bathroom, a study, and a small sitting room with lots of old books upstairs. Downstairs, there was the open kitchen with the dining area, the living room, a bathroom, and another study. Not that Leonard was complaining. If he was going to be living with the guy, he'd prefer the house to be unbelievably large than unbelievably small. 

If anything, Leonard was somewhat impressed by some of the contents in the house. For their planet being destroyed, there were a lot of old decorations and books that Sarek had in his house. He knew that Spock provided some of the memorabilia, but Leonard had no clue where the rest came from.

Not that it was his business.

Leonard decided that he'd go out today! Visit the hospital and see if they had any openings, and have a look-see about the town. He knew that he knew next to nothing when it came to the Vulcan language, but Sarek had told him that most adults spoke the standard language.

As he showered, he got a bad feeling in his stomach. It was probably nothing, so he showered on.

Except he kept getting those sensations. Not in his gut, like the feeling of impending doom, it was an actual sick feeling. He wasn't getting sick, was he?! He was the healthiest man in the damn quadrant (probably)!

He impulsively washed his hands. Twice. Okay, three times. Just for the nerves.

Leonard wandered into the kitchen and got himself a nice, cool glass of water. Maybe it was just him being nervous about going out on the town. With all of these hobgoblins going through a difficult time, he might run into another Saavik (the crazy Vulcan that tried shanking Sarek on the Pretty Planet).

But he wasn't actually worried, was he? God, he never knew what he was feeling anymore!

As he was chugging down the water, the front door swung open, making him choke. Sarek rushed into the house and to the bathroom, where Leonard heard him vomit.

He rolled his eyes. Great.

He poured another glass of cold water and walked into the bathroom. Sarek was hunched over the toilet. Leonard could sense anger emanating from him. Evidently Leonard wasn't the only one who got pissed whenever he got sick.

He set the glass of water on the sink counter. "You have any medicine?" He asked, crossing his arms. Sarek shook his head. Leonard rolled his eyes again. Damn idiotic son of a-

"Healer lives next door..." Sarek said quietly before vomiting again. Leonard nodded and left the room. He put on a light brown overshirt to cover his arms, brown boots, and stepped outside into the fiery heat.

As he set off, he mused that Sarek was lucky that Leonard wasn't squeamish when it came to body functions and their respective fluids. After all the years he'd been in the medical world, he'd dealt with everything. Vomit, blood, urine, stool, nothing could even make him cringe internally anymore.

He walked along the dry, hot road until he reached a nice house. Sarek hadn't said WHICH neighbor was the healer, but Leonard got the feeling that they lived here.

Damn bond...

Leonard knocked tentatively on the door. This was like training for when he would REALLY go and stick his neck out into the public area. After several moments, an elderly woman opened the door. She wore white robes with colorful designs. As expected, her face was a stone wall.

"Hi, my... uh..." Leonard stammered, internally hitting himself upside the head. His...?! HIS WHAT?!! "Your neighbor Sarek is sick with a sort of stomach illness. He told me to come to you."

"I see." She said, before shutting the door on him. Leonard blinked for a few moments, before getting angry. Did she just shut the door in HIS face?! Oh hell no. He raised his fist to bang on the door, when it opened again. The same lady was there, now holding a bag... oh. She was just grabbing her stuff.

Leonard needed to calm down.

They walked back to Sarek's house in silence. The dust in the air made it difficult for Leonard to breathe, and the lady was walking at such a brisk pace that he was having a hard time keeping up. The heat was really making it difficult for him.

When they entered Sarek's house, Leonard pointed in the direction of the bathroom and went to the kitchen by himself for some water. Just that short walk dried him out.

Add that to the list of Reasons Why Planet Vulcan (And Its Inhabitants) Suck™

While he drank his water, the lady exited the bathroom in a hurry. "What's wrong?" He asked her.

"... Vulcan females have an acute sense of smell. It is necessary that I take intermittent breaks betwee-"

"Wait, hold up." Leonard put up his hand for her so stop as he set down his water. "You're tellin' me that you can't properly handle a patient because of something so minuscule as the smell of vomit?" Leonard scoffed. "How is that even remotely reasonable?"

"As a human, it is not expected that you would understand." She replied, holding her head high. He took a step closer to her.

"You mean to tell me," Leonard said in his Doctor Voice, "that if you had a patient that was vomiting, covered in feces, and bleeding out to die in three minutes, you wouldn't treat them?"

"Of course I would, it-"

"Then get in there, and treat. that. Vulcan." He glowered, and she blinked at him before walking back to the bathroom. 

Leonard smirked.

\---

Sarek slept soundly upstairs as Leonard read downstairs. He didn't really feel comfortable leaving the man here by himself. As a doctor, it would be immoral!

As he read, one thing kept eating at him. It was bothering him relentlessly, and it kept distracting him. Why in the hell was the formal script so damn different from how people ACTUALLY wrote?! The formation of each letter was completely different in each form. How was he even going to get a grasp of this goddamn waste of a language piece of mother-

Leonard interrupted himself with a yawn. He knew that it wasn't actually him that was tired. He wondered how the bond made him feel almost exactly what Sarek was feeling. It was even more powerful now that he lived in the same vicinity as the man.

Leonard should've gone back to the Enterprise. Who was he kidding? He hated it here. Staying here was a complete nuisance- to him, to Sarek, and to the whole damn planet. Nobody even WANTED him here.

Nobody ever wanted him, did they?

After everything he'd done, all that he'd gone through, he was still unwanted. He got kicked out of his home, off of his planet, and off of his ship. All by his family. His friends. His loved ones.

Now he was stuck in a place where nobody wanted him. He couldn't even get kicked out of here.

He'd have to live here for the rest of his life, unwanted and unloved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not too satisfied with this chapter tbh


	8. The best of times, the worst of times...

In a week, Leonard managed to land himself a part-time job at the nearest clinic, get a basic grasp on the Vulcan (Modern Golic) language, and develop a few relationships with the people around him.

And by relationships, he meant that negatively.

There were a few fiendish people who just could not stand the fact that there was a living, breathing human in their midst. Leonard had a few verbal attacks thrown to and from him, but they never ended with actual violence. Nothing Leonard couldn't handle.

Sarek was good and healthy, after Leonard (verbally) smacked some sense into that crotchety old healer woman. Sarek trusted her for some reason, though, which Leonard didn't really get. Wasn't really Leonard's business anyway, though.

He didn't see Sarek as often as he had anticipated, and they hardly spoke to each other... At all. Their communications so far were pretty much limited to "I'll be back late" or "I'm leaving". It wasn't exactly what Leonard had been expecting, but he didn't really have any qualms about it.

Although, there was this... pull. It wasn't in his head, but his entire body, like it was his very soul. It was constantly trying to pull him towards Sarek. It was a sort of yearning, longing, or needing feeling. It was annoying. It was a nuisance at best.

His thoughts were interrupted by Sarek entering the room. It was late, so the man probably just got home. Leonard had been hunched over the dining table, with a book on writing Vulcan script and a notebook so he could practice. It was definitely the hardest thing he'd ever tried to learn. Fuck Starfleet, THIS was the real challenge.

Sarek got himself a cup of hot tea and came over to him. "You have been frustrated for the past 124 minutes." He said, and Leonard snorted.

"Yeah well I wouldn't be so frustrated if you people didn't make this so damn difficult." Leonard grumbled, setting down the pen and sighing. Sarek came closer to look at his work, and Leonard could feel a great deal of amusement coming from him.

"That is because you are thinking about it wrongly." Sarek said, taking a seat next to him. Leonard glared at him, but Sarek only became more amused at that. "The key to vanu-tanaf-kitaun is to exercise mental discipline, concept, and harmony. Discipline yourself to perfect the script. Know the concept of what you are writing, so you know exactly what you will write before you write it. Fashion the script harmoniously, so that it will look proper."

"What is even the point of writing like this?" Leonard asked, crossing his arms as Sarek took a drink of his tea.

"Aesthetics... and tradition." Sarek said simply. "The origins of this script predates Surak by thousands of years. Why are you attempting to learn to write it?"

"Because isn't it something that I should know?" Leonard shrugged, thinking it would be obvious why he'd learn it if he was already trying to speak the language.

"This script is only used ceremoniously in modern times." Sarek answered, and Leonard blinked at him.

"So I've been wasting all of this time trying to learn this when I don't even NEED to?" Leonard asked, and Sarek nodded. Leonard sighed, closing the book and standing. He needed some food to recover from this. All that time wasted, all that effort. All for nothing.

"The knowledge that you've gained from your efforts will be useful should you encounter tanaf-kitaun in the future." Sarek said, still sitting at the table. Leonard rolled his eyes, even though he had his back to the other man.

"Right." He muttered, making himself a sandwich. Wait... it hit him just then: did Sarek just try to cheer him up? It did make him feel a little better...

He returned to the table, sitting down across from Sarek with his sandwich and glass of water. Boy had he been drinking a lot more water these days. He'd probably dry up any fresh water deposits just by himself if he stayed this thirsty any longer.

"How is your work going?" Sarek asked him, still sipping at his tea. Leonard shrugged.

"It's okay. They have me doing menial tasks right now, but eventually the stubborn bastards will realize that I'm capable of more than that." Leonard said, shrugging it off.

"Has anybody been harassing you?" Sarek asked, and Leonard frowned at him.

"No." He said shortly, and Sarek gave him The Look.

"I can fix that for you." Sarek said, and Leonard scoffed.

"I can fight my own fights, thank you. How is YOUR work going? Anyone harassing you?" Leonard turned the questions around in his spite.

"Work is fine." Sarek replied. "Nobody is harassing me." Leonard felt something through the bond. He couldn't place the feeling.

"Are you... lying?" He asked, focusing on that feeling. Sarek shrugged, and Leonard rolled his eyes. "Bet I could fix that for you."

"You do not have the authority." Sarek told him, and Leonard raised a brow.

"This," Leonard held up his fist, "is enough 'authority' when it comes down to it." He said jokingly. "I've already used violence to save your ass."

Sarek didn't reply, so they both sat there silently for a few minutes.

"I hear something," Sarek said as Leonard finished his sandwich.

"I don't." Leonard countered, straining his ears. Sarek stood and walked to the door, and Leonard promptly followed him. Upon opening the door, they saw a small girl on the sidewalk in front of the house. She was... crying?

They walked over to her, and Leonard knelt down to her level. "Are you okay, hon?" He asked softly, and she shook her head. "Can you tell me your name?"

"Nin," the little girl said, wiping away her tears to look at him.

"What's wrong, Nin?" He asked her, but that only made her cry more. "Aw honey, it's okay. Alright? Do you want to come in? You're safe with us, alright?" The little girl nodded, so he led her inside. Sarek followed silently.

Leonard had her sit on the couch, and Sarek finally spoke, "Tell me the names of your parents." That only made Nin worse, so Leonard pushed the man away. He tried ignoring how Sarek's firm body felt under his hands...

"Go get her some water." He told him, but Sarek only raised an eyebrow at him. "Now." Leonard demanded, and Sarek went without a word. Leonard sat down next to Nin. "Nin, you're going to be okay, I promise. Do you think you could tell me how old you are?" He asked, handing her a tissue.

"I am... seven years.. old." Nin said between sniffles, wiping her tears with the tissue.

"You sure? You seem too smart to be seven..." He eyed her suspiciously, which earned him a smile from Nin. So Vulcan kids DID have a sense of humor. Maybe Leonard should become a children's doctor here- that way he'd be able to relate to his patients better. "So why were you crying, Nin?" He asked gently, and Sarek appeared with the water, which he gave to Nin. She took a drink of it before replying.

"My dad..." She started quietly, holding the glass of water in both of her tiny hands. "He hit my mom, before hitting me too." Nin told them, and Leonard felt a rage overcome him. He clenched his teeth.

"What's your dad's name, honey?" Leonard asked, trying to keep himself composed.

"Stovv." Nin said, looking down at her water. Leonard looked at Sarek, who nodded, meaning he knew who Nin was talking about.

Leonard convinced Nin to take a nap on the sofa, even though she didn't really need to be convinced; she seemed pretty tired after everything. Leonard then stood with Sarek in the kitchen.

"You need to find this bastard before I do, because I might kill him." Leonard demanded to Sarek, who had his arms crossed.

"I will notify the local authorities, Leonard. It will be dealt with. Are you alright?" He asked.

"No I'm not alright! I thought that you guys were more peaceful than this!" Leonard replied angrily. Sarek tried to put his hand on his shoulder, but Leonard moved away. "Go to your 'authorities.' I'll stay here with her." He demanded before going back to the living room. Sarek left the house, and Leonard sighed aggressively.

\--

Leonard tossed and turned for hours that night, thinking about the day.

Nin and her mom T'Lana were safe, and Stovv was in custody. Hopefully Stovv wouldn't be able to come into contact with them ever again. For some bizarre reason, he trusted that Sarek would make sure of it.

Sarek really had no idea how to talk to kids. He was too demanding and stern with them. Yet somehow he was the exact opposite towards Leonard. He kept trying to cheer him up, or calm him down. Leonard couldn't decide whether that annoyed him or not.

And what was it with that physical contact? When Leonard pushed Sarek away when he upset Nin, he felt something strange. The pull that he constantly felt towards the man practically dissipated when he put his hand on him. And it felt... good. He felt complete. His very being yearned for that feeling again.

Leonard didn't understand it. He knew that it was the bond that was making him feel like this, but that didn't hinder the fact that it felt good. It's not like he wanted to start mackin' on the man, but just the tiniest touch would be enough.

Leonard didn't want to think about it, but it was also the only thing that he could think about that night.


	9. Cue the backdrop music

Slowly the days became more and more repetitive. Wake up, go to work, come home (when did he start considering this place home?), read, have dinner, sleep. Sarek ate dinner with him most days, but he had a habit of working late. Leonard didn't take it personally.

So, Leonard decided, why not go on a hike? He knew of some small mountains not too far from the town, maybe it would turn out to be a good adventure.

Or, at least, something to occupy his time other than sitting around and wonting for a better life. On Earth. With cold beer. And a wife.

He rummaged through his clothes, trying to find something light enough to not drag him down, and light-colored enough to not absorb too much of the sun's rays. He ended up with some semi-light brown clothes, or heavier white ceremonial robes. Fuck Sarek for saying that those were the only clothes he'd need.

Sarek... maybe he'd have the right clothes? He'd rather borrow some of Sarek's clothes than go all the way across town to buy some. Leonard made his way down the hall and slowly opened the door to Sarek's room. He'd actually never been in there before.

There was a bladed weapon hanging on the wall, a house-plant on the windowsill, and a couple of books on the bedside table. He looked at them. One was written in ceremonial Vulcan script, with words that he didn't yet recognized. The other, which was in normal Vulcan writing, he determined was about 'the evolving culture of Vulcans without logic.' Leonard shook his head in wonder; the Vulcan really was a strange man.

Back on task, he turned to the dresser against the wall. He rummaged through the clothes until he found some lightweight, light grey clothes. He made sure they weren't important (all important Vulcan clothes had some sort of design on them somewhere), and took them back to his room to change. They were relatively the same size, Sarek's shoulders being slightly broader.

After he changed and packed a bag with water and a small meal, Leonard set off out of the house. As he progressed, he tried his best not to think about how his clothes slightly smelled like Sarek, and how it was a pleasant scent. He had to walk out of the neighborhood, and then probably a couple kilometers east before reaching the mountain area. Leonard just hoped it wouldn't be too damn difficult to climb...

-

Turned out, the mountain wasn't too steep. It was more like a very, very large hill if anything. But Leonard made himself feel better by thinking that he was climbing a mountain and not a hill. In some areas, he could walk up higher, but occasionally he had to climb the hot, brown rocks to progress. He had to take frequent breaks to rest and drink water, though. The higher gravity and hotter climate was kicking his ass. Especially when he came from a starship where gravity was on a physiologically amicable scale for the species on board, and the temperature in public areas was always this stale, "room temperature" type of climate.

The air was dry, too. It burned his lungs and dried up his throat, further increasing his exponential need for water. Leonard was quickly learning that he should have packed more water for the trip.

As he sat down on a boulder to pause for the umpteenth time, he looked back from where he'd came. Leonard was almost proud of how far he'd progressed.

Almost.

He could see the town, and the specs of people milling about. He saw the fields of vegetables and grains off the north side of the town. Leonard wondered how anybody could even grow anything on this god forsaken planet. The dirt was dust that blew up into the air and dried everything out, nor fertile soil for growing food. But what did he know? He was a doctor, not a dirt farmer.

That brought him back to the depressing thoughts that had been plaguing him since he got here; what was his purpose here? He was right, he wasn't a dirt farmer. He was a doctor. That was the one thing (other than his bones) that he could hold on to throughout his whole life. No matter where he went, no matter what he was reduced to, he was always going to be a doctor.

Or so he thought.

Now he was on a planet where not only was there an exorbitant amount of xenophobia directed towards him, he was unable to have a position as a doctor here. No, he was doing menial tasks. They were practically keeping him busy only because he convinced (threatened) them to hire him. He wasn't helping people, he wasn't making a difference.

Leonard had no purpose.

His only purpose was to stay alive. His quality of life hardly mattered. He mused that he could probably be stuck in a coma, and it wouldn't matter as long as he was near Sarek.

It was a grounding revelation. And it made Leonard even less keen on the idea of turning back, which he had been pondering ever since he drank more than half of his water supply.

Leonard stood up, took a deep breath, and progressed up the mountain.

~~~~~

Leonard blinked awake, seeing Sarek leaning over him. "What...?" Leonard said, but immediately felt a pain in his head.

"You collapsed." Sarek told him simply. That was when Leonard realized that Sarek was practically cradling him, holding his head and upper half up in his arms. Leonard leaned up on his own.

He looked around, and saw that they were on the mountain that Leonard had been climbing, on a flat shelf with some cacti and shrubs growing sparsely from it. Leonard sighed, and said, "I'm sorry that you came all the way up here to get me."

"It is of no consequence." Sarek replied, raising an eyebrow. "I do wish that you try to take better care of yourself." He thrust some water towards Leonard, who took it gratefully. He knew to drink in small sips, even though he wanted to drink all of it. Sarek was staring at him, and Leonard smiled and frowned involuntarily at the same time.

"What?" He asked, and Sarek unconsciously licked his lips before replying. Not like Leonard WATCHED him do that or anything...

"You are wearing my clothes." Sarek stated, and suddenly Leonard felt embarrassed.

"I... uh... I hope you don't mind." Leonard stammered. "I didn't have anything lightweight enough, and-"

"They suit you well." Sarek told him, and Leonard was rendered speechless. He felt a tingling in his stomach, and they sat there silently in the shade. After a few moments, Sarek spoke again. "There is a new hospital building being erected, where medical research will be taken place, as well as the treatment of patients with more advanced illnesses. I have acquired the complete authority over the building's affairs, and I am offering you the position of Lead Doctor."

Leonard choked on his water. "You did what now?!"

"Should you accept this offer, you will be in charge of all medical research and treatments taken place within the vicinity. It is a full-time occupation." Sarek explained, and Leonard gaped at him.

"You're serious? You... you... you want ME to..." Leonard was smiling like an idiot, probably- undoubtedly-, and Sarek raised an amused eyebrow at him.

"Yes. Are you... happy?" Sarek asked, and Leonard scoffed.

"Happy? Yes, I'm happy! I'm ecstatic, I'm excited, I'm... I'm honored." Leonard told him, and Sarek's mouth twitched, as if a smile threatened to form. "How did you get authority over the building?" Leonard asked.

"That... was a very long, and difficult process, in which my own job was threatened." Sarek admitted, but Leonard knew that he didn't feel negatively about it.

"Why would you risk your job for that?" Leonard asked him, frowning.

"I wished to make you happy." Sarek admitted, and the tingling in Leonard's stomach grew stronger. "I know that you have not been content here, so I wanted to change that."

Leonard stared at him, and Sarek stared back. Leonard forgot all about his thoughts earlier about having no purpose. He forgot about just collapsing from heat exhaustion. He forgot about everything. It was just them.


	10. Happy? Birthday!

Leonard took his new job in his stride. He practically ran the whole show of that goddamn building. He decided what rooms would he used for which things, what furniture theme to use, who worked there, who focused on different aspects of work, et cetera. He bossed people around, and asked "Are you out of your Vulcan mind?!" more times than he could count. Leonard was practically glowing. 

What's more, he quickly gained respect from those around him as he went about running the place in the most strategic way. He lost sleep and spent his down time studying up and reading on everything he could about Vulcan medicine. Within days he became an expert. Within weeks, he became THE expert. In no time he was bossing around doctors and healers that had previously seen him as inferior.

Within the month, they found cures to two rare Vulcan ailments, and began distributing vaccinations for four others. When the primary hospital didn't know what to do with their patients, Leonard took them in. He took everyone in, and helped them the best he could. He took in the sick, the tired, the hungry, and even those who found themselves "emotionally compromised" (who in the end needed a good cry and a couple hours of meditation). The kids even loved him, since he never suggested to them that they attempt to shut down their emotions in order to solve their issues.

For the first time since he arrived, he truly felt needed on this desolate, nearly-emotionless planet. That brought him great peace.

-

Leonard woke up to light shining through the windows of the living room. A blanket was draped over him, and the book that he fell asleep reading was set on the coffee table nearby. He had fallen asleep on the couch again for the third night in a row, and he knew that Sarek had been the one to put the blanket over him.

Leonard sat up and stretched. He could smell something delicious emanating from the kitchen. He looked around for the clock, wondering what time it was.

IT WAS ALREADY 8 O'CLOCK?!

Oh, no. Leonard always arrived at work at six or earlier each damn morning. Sarek usually woke him up, since the bastard was an early riser. What in the hell happened?

Leonard made his way into the kitchen just as Sarek finished making breakfast. Wait, Sarek was making breakfast?! That never happened...

"Uh, hi." Leonard said, confused. Sarek nodded to him as he put the food on the table. Pancakes? Fruit? The Vulcan equivalent of hash browns?! What the fuck?!

"Good morning, Leonard. I scheduled you the day off today approximately 2.384 weeks ago." Sarek said, and Leonard speechlessly took a seat at the table. "I hope this food is to your liking."

"Um..." Leonard stammered graciously, rubbing his nape. "I mean yes, it looks amazing. But is there a special occasion...?" Sarek raised an eyebrow at Leonard as he sat down across from him.

"I believe, according to the current Earth date, that it is your birthday." Sarek stated, and Leonard blinked. Birthday?

"Birthday?" Leonard spoke his thoughts. "I haven't celebrated my birthday in... in... a long ass time." He actually had no idea when the last time he celebrated his birthday was. Ten years? Twenty?

"I had hoped to bring an end to your 'long ass time' of not celebrating." Sarek replied, and Leonard laughed as he heard the man swear. It was like he was speaking a foreign word or something. Or like when foreigners say an English term in the midst of their ramblings in a different language ("¡Oye mi madre nunca bebe una bebida que no es COCA COLA entonces si no tienen COCA COLA vamos a salir!")

"Vulcans celebrate birthdays?" Leonard laughed, grabbing at some of the food to pile onto the plate that had been set before him.

"Yes, although it is typically a more formal occasion. I had anticipated, though, that you might have wanted a casual celebration." Sarek said simply, getting some food of his own. The Vulcan was acting like this whole thing was no big deal, like it was obvious that they would celebrate Leonard's birthday.

It filled Leonard with warmth.

\--

Sarek turned out to have more than breakfast planned. He forced Leonard to wear formal clothes, and they went out into the town. They walked around, checked on Leonard's workplace (he didn't trust them to function on their own), watched a group of people play music from Vulcan instruments that Leonard didn't recognize, visited stores, ate lunch at a restaurant, and pretty much just hung out. Leonard was a bit surprised to find himself having a really great time. Sarek turned out to be pretty good company when the damn Vulcan put some effort in. 

Sarek even made a joke. It was more of an accusation or a taunt, but it was meant to be funny. It was a shitty joke, but it made Leonard burst out laughing anyway. They were eating lunch when a lady passed by and glared openly at them. People stopped glaring at Leonard ever since he made the medical research building so successful, and they never glared at Sarek. So, naturally, as she walked away, Leonard asked, "What's up her ass?"

And Sarek replied, with the straightest face, "Not her husband, that is for sure."

Leonard laughed so hard for so long that the owner of the restaurant tried asking him to leave if he didn't quiet down. Leonard apologized, drank some cold water, and eventually calmed down. Sarek went on to explain that the lady's husband, Tolenn, had told her right in public that he'd never have sex with her again if she continued to buy herbal-scented soap.

Leonard then was told to leave the restaurant for causing a "noise disturbance."

He was still laughing by the time they vacated the building, and he put a hand on Sarek's shoulder as they walked. "You Vulcans continue to surprise me. I'm glad you guys don't all have sticks up your asses."

"I fail to see how that would be pleasant." Sarek replied, and Leonard rolled his eyes, dropping his hand.

"It's an expression, dillrod." He chuckled, and Sarek raised a brow at him.

"Dillrod?" He asked, and Leonard rolled his eyes again.

"It's just a playful endearment." He explained. "On Earth, rude nicknames are-"

"Leonard McCoy." A Vulcan approached them on the sidewalk. Leonard's smile dropped.

"Yes? And who are you?" Leonard asked, as he's never met the man before.

"My brother is Stovv. You and Sarek caused him to be detained." The man said, and Leonard remembered. Stovv was the abusive father of the little girl names Nin that he and Sarek met a while back.

"Stovv detained himself." Leonard spat back, and Sarek put a warning hand on his arm. "He wouldn't be incarcerated if he didn't abuse his family."

"My brother does not deserve this. I demand that he is released immediately." The man said. Leonard scoffed.

"Sorry pal, he's not going anywhere. I suggest you back off before you join him." Leonard threatened. He tried to take a step forward, but Sarek held him back with a hand on his arm.

"Stovv is wasting his life in that prison because of you!" The man grew more angry, and began to approach him. Sarek put himself between them in an instant.

"Do not come any closer." Sarek said warningly, but the man threw a punch at him so quickly that a puma couldn't have stopped it. His fist connected with Sarek's jaw, drawing blood. A bystander rushed over and nerve pinched the man, causing him to collapse to the ground.

Leonard thanked the woman for coming to their aid before grabbing Sarek and turning him to face him. He looked intensely at the greening wound, then glared at him. "You shouldn't have gotten between us." He told him angrily.

"I thought that-"

"Yeah well, you thought wrong, damn it." Leonard interrupted him, still glaring.

"Why are you angry?" Sarek asked, and Leonard felt genuine confusion coming from him.

"I'm angry because you're hurt." Leonard told him as he began to feel pain radiating through his own cheek.

"He would have hurt you." Sarek said, and Leonard sighed. They looked into each other's eyes for a few moments before Leonard took his hands off of Sarek's shoulders. He looked at the unconscious man on the ground, sighing again.

Why did things have to be so difficult?

\---

They returned home, and Sarek treated his face while Leonard got out of the blasted formal clothes. He got that it was tradition and all, but damn those clothes were uncomfortable. He changed into something more relaxing, and went downstairs.

They spent the rest of the day talking about various subjects, where they learned a lot more about each other, and had a nice dinner together. The incident in town was soon forgotten, and Leonard felt at peace again.


	11. I actually have no idea

They were having a little argument. Just a little tiff, there in the kitchen. It was nothing unusual. Sarek wanted Leonard to stay sober because he felt the effects of his inebriation also, but Leonard was never going to stay sober in his life, and surely Sarek could just block it out.

That was where Leonard made a mistake which made the argument into an even bigger one.

Sarek raised his hand, only slightly, to make a gesture while he was talking. Leonard automatically raised his own hands in a defensive position, and Sarek immediately stopped.

"Did you think that I was going to hit you?" Sarek asked quietly.

"No!" Leonard replied angrily, putting his arms down. "I was... stretching."

"Are you afraid of me, Leonard?" Sarek asked, which make Leonard glare even harder.

"Of course not. Look, it was just reflexes, alright? Let it go." Leonard shook his head, trying to walk off, but Sarek reached out and grabbed his arm.

"I would never hit you." He said sternly, and Leonard nodded. "Talk to me." Leonard hesitated.

"It's just..." he sighed, feeling somewhat embarrassed. "At work, another person came in saying that he was being abused by his spouse. I can't help but feel like it's a trend or something."

"Leonard..." Sarek visibly hesitated before putting a warm hand on Leonard's cheek. "I will never harm you. Those who cause harm to others get punished severely for their actions. The people who harm their family fail to recognize their love for them."

"That mean you love me?" Leonard joked, trying to lighten the situation. Sarek dropped his hand and walked away without another word, leaving Leonard alone in the kitchen.

Did that mean that Sarek loved him and didn't want to admit it? Or that he didn't love him and he didn't want to admit it?

Both options scared him equally.

His cheek burned where Sarek's hand was.

\--

While Leonard pondered the meaning of life at his desk, a woman rushed into his office. "Doctor, there has been a sudden outbreak of the Terast virus."

"Shit, okay," Leonard stood, collecting his mind. "Quarantine those who even have the simplest sign of getting a rash or nosebleed, and get a team to make the announcements." The doctor who came to him nodded and ran off, and Leonard hurried to the main level. He swore to god if Sarek got this virus somehow, because the man ALWAYS was affected by something-

"Doctor, you need to be quarantined." Tlonn stepped in front of him.

"What? Do I look sick to you?" Leonard asked with a glare, and Tlonn pointed at his arm. Leonard looked at the small, hardly noticeable rash that was beginning to form there. Dammit. "Dammit, good catch Tlonn. I'll go to quarantine, then. Send someone straight to the High Council to inform them of what's happening."

Leonard fucking hated being quarantined himself, but at least he'd be able to help the sick without being worried about getting infected himself. He entered the large room, seeing at least two dozen patients already. Leonard cursed under his breath, put on some gloves, and got to work.

The shitty thing was was that this virus presented itself in different ways, all ways that would seem relatively harmless. It came in a rash, a nosebleed, or a spell of dizziness. If left untreated, it caused death. Everyone had only a day before the virus became irreversible. 

They had to work fast.

\---

After about seven hours of working nonstop, Leonard had had three nosebleeds and fell down twice. Now he had a bruise on his arm to accompany the growing rash. Great.

The amount of people in quarantine tripled since earlier. Leonard only hoped that they could contain the virus so that the whole colony wouldn't get it.

Tlonn handed him a PADD. Leonard liked Tlonn. He was probably his favorite. He liked talking about random things and always humored Leonard. And he always came to him first instead of consulting EVERYONE else prior to coming at him. Leonard glared at T'Puan at the thought.

He looked at the PADD, recognizing what it was immediately. Leonard had made Tlonn lead of a team to find the cure to this damn disease. He looked over the data slowly, his brain not working like it had been a few hours ago.

"It looks good to me, but I'm not exactly in a state to make decisions right now. Consult others. T'Puan is great at that if you want to hand it off to her." Leonard said, and Tlonn nodded.

Leonard gazed around the room, making sure everything was in order. He saw some figures in a viewing window across the room. Sarek was there, talking with the others. Leonard felt relieved seeing him. He'd been checking every person who came in the room, making sure that Sarek wasn't among them.

Leonard changed out his gloves, put a mask on, and walked out to them. "Doctor, you-" he put his hand up to quiet T'Puan.

"You know as well as I do that as long as I don't touch anybody or breathe on them, they'll be perfectly fine." He said sternly, and she nodded once. Like she was the boss of him...

Sarek approached him, but he held out his hands. "Don't come too close." He said, and Sarek stopped a couple of steps away from him. The man looked pained. Leonard fought off an eye roll. "We're working on a cure. Last time I checked- which was a couple minutes ago-, it looked like everything will be dandy." He said to Sarek and the others there.

"How long until you can distribute a cure?" One of the council members asked.

"I'd wager in about five a-"

"Approximately 5.425 hours, sir." T'Puan said, stepping forward. Leonard gave her a look.

"Thank you for your valuable input, Doctor." Leonard said in false enthusiasm. "But don't you have work to do?"

"I could say the same to you, Doctor." T'Puan replied, and Leonard crossed his arms.

"I'm ready to pass out any second. Last time that happened, I accidentally cut a patient on her arm. Do you want me out there causing possible harm, or do you want to go out there and do better than me?" Leonard asked her, and she wordlessly went back into the Q (quarantine) (Leonard liked Q better because it's shorter). 

"Are you alright?" Sarek asked, daring another step closer. Leonard tried not to sigh too aggressively.

"I'm fine, as long as we get this cure out. Has the recall on all fruit been ordered yet?" Leonard asked, and he felt Sarek's confusion. "Dammit, nobody came to do the- I swear everyone up here has their thumbs up their asses!"

"Their what?" A council member said, almost looking appalled.

"It's a figure of speech. It means that nobody's doing anything useful. This virus is most often caused by infected fruit. Until we get a cure out, it won't be safe to eat any. Why do you feel guilty?" Leonard asked, glaring at Sarek. He could practically taste Sarek's many emotions from here.

"I told you to eat breakfast, in which you chose the-"

"God, Sarek, that's not your fault. Nobody could've known. Don't be illogical." He smirked, and Sarek gave him The Look. "I better get back in there and do what I can before I get too bad. Don't eat any fruit. And don't touch anyone. And don't let T'Puan come out here and do jack again. You know what I mean, don't give me that look."

\---

Leonard opened his eyes, feeling dreary. It took a few blinks, and he had to rub his eyes, before things stopped being so blurry. Last thing he remembered was turning to grab a hypo. He must've gotten dizzy from the movement and collapsed. Again.

"Doctor, you're awake." Tlonn appeared conveniently by his bedside. Leonard sat up, rubbing his head. It hurt like a bitch.

"Great observation, kid." Leonard grumbled.

"We've distributed the cure, created a vaccine, and we 'cured' all of the fruit trees." Tlonn explained. 

"Good job. Really. I'm proud of all of you." Leonard said, and saw Tlonn's ears turn a bit green. He reckoned that nobody around here ever told anyone that they were proud of them. He made a mental note to do that more often.

Leonard went home, took a shower, and barely got out of the bathroom before he was tackled.

Okay, well, not tackled, but Sarek had him in a surprise hug as soon as he stepped a foot out the door. Leonard hesitated before awkwardly hugging the man back.


	12. Thieving Games

Leonard was going to kill him. He was going to track that Vulcan down and make him pay. Sarek had finally crossed the damn line.

He hid his favorite bottle of alcohol. Again. This was the third time, but now Leonard was done.

He went into Sarek's room and took the man's favorite shirt (Leonard didn't care what the Vulcan said, he HAD favorites of things). He tucked the shirt into his own shirt drawer.

Let's see how the ass liked that! Taste of his own goddamn medicine.

-

"Leonard, have you seen my shirt?" Sarek asked, walking into the living room where Leonard sat with an open book on his lap.

"What shirt?" He asked innocently. 

"The shirt that you claim is my favorite." Sarek said sternly, and Leonard shrugged.

"I've been wondering the same thing about my favorite bottle of white rum..." Leonard replied, earning The Look from Sarek.

-

The next day, Leonard's book that he'd been reading for the past few days had been missing.

Leonard took all of the decorations from Sarek's room.

Sarek took the rest of Leonard's alcohol.

Leonard took all of Sarek's clothes while the man was in the shower.

Sarek, wearing only a towel around his waste, set the alcohol and the book on the table while Leonard was eating dinner. Leonard smirked.

"I knew I'd win." He gleefully stood and returned the bottles to their rightful cabinet in the kitchen.

Leonard looked back at Sarek, who stood there unhappily in his towel. Leonard couldn't help but run his gaze over the bare parts of the man's body. Suddenly he felt very thirsty and warm.

He cleared his throat before saying, "Your clothes are in a bag in my room." Sarek nodded and left, and Leonard breathed out heftily, stomach tingling. He couldn't bring his mind away from Sarek's bare torso. The man was a bit more buff than Leonard thought. He wondered if the Vulcan worked out on his own time.

Bad thoughts bad thoughts bad thoughts.

Leonard shook his head, trying to get the picture of Sarek half naked and vulnerable out of his head, and of course Leonard's mind had to go back to when he jokingly asked Sarek if he loved him. He'd just walked away when he said that. WHAT DID THAT MEAN?!

\--

Leonard was walking downtown (minding his own business no less), when a woman caught his arm. "Leonard McCoy? I've been trying to catch you while you're not working." Leonard looked at her, then where her hand was on his arm. "Oh, sorry, you're uncomfortable. I had presumed that humans thrived on physical contact." She said urgently, removing her hand. Leonard frowned at her, looking into her very black eyes before it clicked.

"Oh you're the lady with the scary psychic awareness with everyone!" He said, nodding his head. She nodded her head also.

"Yes, that would be me. My name is T'Vosh." She said, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear.

"Sarek mentioned you a long time ago." Leonard said, and she nodded.

"Yes, he was quite distraught. He seems a lot better now, when I see him. I take it your relationship is going well?" T'Vosh asked, tilting her head.

"Oh we're not in a relationship. We just live together." Leonard said awkwardly.

"You... the two of you have a bond like that, and you're not...?" T'Vosh shook her head, perplexed.

"No, we're not. We're... we're friends, I think." Leonard told her, and she squinted at him with her deep, black eyes.

"You have a lot of buried feelings in you, Leonard. You're almost as hard to read as Sarek. But I cracked him, and I can crack you too." T'Vosh smirked, and Leonard blinked at her. 

"Wait, you're able to read Sarek? What did you find out? Not that I really care, I'm just minutely curious." Leonard scratched the back of his neck, stepping more into the shade of the building next to them.

"Let's get lunch!" T'Vosh said, leading him along.

-

They ended up at a small restaurant that sold REALLY good cold soup (was soup even soup if it was cold?), and they sat at an outside table.

"You must be pretty curious about Sarek. Do you two not talk?" T'Vosh asked, raising an eyebrow at him. She was a really nice person. Gentle and kind, but also very bold. Leonard felt an attraction to her, for some reason. Not an "I want to fuck you" attraction (although he could go for that), but more like an "I'd like to hang out with you" attraction.

"We don't talk about much. Not much to talk about." Leonard shrugged, and started on his soup. It was delicious. It had a sort of spicy hint to it, which was balanced out by the coolness of the liquid.

"You two don't talk about your feelings?" She asked, and he snorted.

"Okay for one, I was never one to talk about my feelings. For two, Sarek is a Vulcan. He'd sooner talk about his bowel movements than his feelings. Probably." He explained, and T'Vosh muffled her laugh. Her being half-Betazed undoubtedly made her less inclined to push away her feelings.

"But you feel his feelings, right? When he's feeling something abnormal, don't you bring it up?" She asked, and he frowned.

"I don't really focus on his feelings. I try to give him privacy, I mean. I thought we weren't going to talk about me." Leonard turned the conversation around.

"Right, and you expected me to spill everything I know about Sarek?"

"Well yeah." Leonard nodded, and T'Vosh blinked at him.

"I won't say too much, but I will tell you this: he cares about you a lot." She said, then it was Leonard's turn to blink at her.

"Right, because if I died then he'd be mentally screwed." He said, and she shook her head.

"Leonard, I can read your mind. I know how you actually feel about that. But the question is: do you? Are you just hiding your own emotions from yourself?" T'Vosh asked. Leonard glared at her. "I will admit, I've been trying to read you this whole time. And I've seen that all you do is think about something for a split second before burying the thought away. It's okay to dwell on things, and to think about it until it rips you apart. Everyone does it- even Vulcans."

"Right." Leonard snorted again and took another bite of his soup.

"A few days ago, when I met with Sarek, he'd been up all of the previous night thinking about the medical research you're doing." T'Vosh said, and Leonard frowned. Did Sarek think he wasn't doing a good job? And how the hell often did these two meet up? "We only meet up every once in a while. He likes to stay on top of civil affairs, and I'm right in the middle of that. And he thinks you're doing a great job. He's just... worried."

"Worried? Why?" Leonard asked, making a face.

"He's worried about a LOT. But he's mainly worried that you'll get a little too much from your job. He's worried that you'll separate him and the job, and eventually you'll want to live a life away from him because you're satisfied enough with your job to be without him." T'Vosh said, and Leonard gaped at her. He wouldn't just leave Sarek to deal with himself. "I know you wouldn't leave, but he doesn't. He's afraid that you'll realize that you don't need him."

"I do need him." Leonard said quickly, and she shrugged.

"As long as you're on the same planet as him, the two of you can survive. It'll be hard, but you two can deal with it. You can just move out whenever you want." She said, swirling her spoon around in her soup.

Leonard frowned down at his own soup, looking at the brownish red liquid with pieces of vegetables floating around.

\--

Leonard sat on the couch in the living room, a thick book in his lap. It was an old medical book written in cursive script. That's right, he was taking another stab at learning it. He didn't plan on trying to write it anytime soon, but he needed to be able to read it for his own sanity if nothing else. He hated knowing that there was a piece of the language that he had no comprehension of. The fact that it was older and used ancient Vulcan words that had no current meaning didn't help.

Sarek walked into the room, wearing a dark blue t-shirt. Wait, what?

"You own a t-shirt? And it's not a bland color? Is that my shirt?" Leonard asked, all kinds of perplexed.

"You had made it clear that we had free reign over each other's items." Sarek raised an eyebrow, and Leonard raised an eyebrow back.

"Touché." He replied. He had, admittedly, worn a few of Sarek's clothes on just a few occasions. What? Leonard hated shopping for himself, and he fit just fine in Sarek's clothes. He eyed the man. He looked different somehow in that shirt. More exposed.

Leonard decided to try taking a little peek in on Sarek's emotions. He ignored them most of the time, just because of privacy reasons and that it wasn't really relevant, but now he wanted to know. After talking to T'Vosh, he felt more curious about Sarek.

"Do you... do you think you could help me real quick?" Leonard asked when he realized he'd been looking at the Vulcan for too long. Sarek nodded, and Leonard pat the spot next to him. He ignored how the proximity made him feel good- or nauseous, depending on how you looked at it. "I have no idea what a lot of these words mean because they're so old."

"Surely there are updated books?" Sarek asked, taking the book in his hands.

"Yeah, but none of them that I've read so far include a certain affliction that's mentioned in this book." He pointed to a part in the script. "They called it Klat Syndrome, and no current texts mention it. It's like everybody forgot it existed."

"I see," Sarek said, peering at the page with concentration. "You want me to assist you?"

"I do." Leonard replied with a nod. Sarek's face remained unchanged, but his emotions were a swirl of several different things. Relief, honor, happiness, excitement, nervousness.

Leonard felt much the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who leave comments for almost every chapter, I thank you immensely. I love you guys. Y'all are what keep me writing.


	13. Convenient Nightmares

Leonard woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. This was the eighth night in a row where he'd woken up from a nightmare. They started out a month ago as just unpleasant dreams, but now it had evolved into... terrors. They weren't even about anything specific. Klingon invasions, dead babies, diseased air, paralyzation... each dream was different, but each scared the shit out of him. Not literally, luckily.

Leonard looked at the clock. It was two in the morning. He rolled his eyes, and got out of bed. He took a shower, brushed his teeth, and stumbled downstairs for a drink. He sat at the table and poured himself some alcohol, and took a big swig before resting his head on his arm and passing out.

~

Leonard jumped, and reached out in fear when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Suddenly everything was bright, and he was sitting at the table with a fist full of Sarek's shirt. He let go promptly, rubbing his eyes.

"Sorry, bad dream." Leonard yawned, and Sarek offered him an apple-like fruit, which he took gratefully. He drank down the rest of his drink, to Sarek's chagrin.

"Do you have unpleasant dreams often?" Sarek asked, taking a seat across from him. Leonard laughed sarcastically.

"Ha, yeah, just about every night for the past month or so. It's fine though." Leonard waved it off. He'd only woken up crying three times, no big deal. "Thanks for waking me up." He added, and Sarek nodded.

After eating, Leonard got ready and left for work. Just another day.

\--

The day was full of Leonard trying (and failing) not to fall asleep at his desk. It happened four times, and each time he woke up immediately from some sort of nightmare. He wondered what was bothering him so damn much to make it so that he had nightmares like this. It sure didn't help his mood (an employee actually quit after he yelled at him for twenty minutes about a tiny mistake).

When he got home, he was so tired that he fell asleep reading, but he woke up seven minutes later with a headache and adrenaline in him after being chased by one of those damn Earth carnival clowns. How did his brain even think this stuff up to torment him?

Angrily, he forced himself into bed and tried sleeping for real. He was too exhausted to concentrate or do anything else, and he needed to be well rested for work. He was going to endure these nightmares, dammit!

~~

Leonard jolted awake, breathing in rapidly. In his dreams he'd been chased, shot at, drowned, infected with disease, watched everyone around him die, and he'd even watched his arm get taken off by some huge furry animal with fangs. He was so, so tired of this bullshit.

The dark was unnerving him, so he turned the light on. He kept glancing at the door. He couldn't close his eyes for more than a second before he thought something was coming at him. He just felt terrified about everything around him.

He sighed and threw the blankets off of him. Before he could talk himself out of it, before he could even think about THINKING himself out of it, he ended up at Sarek's door. He stood there for about a minute, looking over his shoulders compulsively every few seconds, before knocking lightly at the door. He heard rustling inside before the door opened to reveal a half-awake Sarek, in sleep pants and a light t-shirt. Leonard's t-shirt.

"Can I...?" Leonard didn't know how he could ask a question like that. What was he even doing there? Was this another nightmare? Before he tucked tail and ran, Sarek shifted to the side and gestured for him to go in. Leonard hesitantly did so.

The room was lit dimly from the lamp on the bedside table. Leonard saw clearly which side of the bed Sarek had come from (the right side), so he made his way to the other side. He and Sarek got in at the same time.

Leonard felt very weird about this. Very, very weird, and a bit uncomfortable. There he was, climbing into bed with a man that he was barely familiar with. Sarek turned off the light, and laid with his back to Leonard. Leonard faced Sarek's back.

He laid there for a while, debating whether or not this was even a good idea. Eventually, he forced his eyes shut, and fell asleep.

~

Leonard woke up with a start, and panicked in the dark room. He had another damn nightmare, of course. He couldn't calm down, he kept seeing shadows in the darkness, and was about to leap out of bed. Sarek turned himself so that he was facing Leonard, and grabbed his hand.

Immediately Leonard was flooded with calming, warm, and safe feelings. He relaxed, gripping Sarek's hand like it was his lifeline. Suddenly he wasn't afraid anymore. He was ready to face his dreams head on, because now he wasn't alone.

~~~

Leonard felt great the whole next day. He didn't have a nightmare, and he finally felt well rested. He even personally tracked down the guy he yelled at the day before and apologized to him. Life was going good.

He got home after Sarek, since he had a late workday trying to control an unruly patient. They ate dinner together.

"I never actually apologized about the other day." Leonard mentioned, and Sarek raised an eyebrow.

"Apologized about what?"

"When I... you know, when I thought you were going to hit me." Leonard shrugged, and took a drink of water before continuing. "I mean it's not like it went through my head as 'shit he's going to hit me,' it was just uncontrolled reflexes. But still, it's fucked up, and I know that it probably made you feel bad, so I'm sorry. I don't think that you would hit me, and I really feel safe around you." Sarek was silent for a long while before replying.

"I am relieved to hear that." He said, and Leonard nodded. He allowed himself to know what Sarek was feeling, just in case. Luckily, he was genuinely relieved. Leonard didn't want to keep the man thinking that he was afraid of him or anything.

It's not like Leonard was weak or anything. Sarek was just anatomically 3 times stronger than him.

When they both went to bed, Leonard hesitantly followed Sarek, who gestured for him to accompany him to bed again. Leonard was both afraid and relieved. And embarrassed. He, a grown man, had to crawl into bed with another person to ward off his fears from nightmares. How pathetic...

He laid in bed, thought about how it smelled like Sarek, and fell asleep peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS FOR THE COMMENTS! YOU GUYS KEEP MY HEART TICKIN.


	14. Married?!

PART I

"We're getting married."

Leonard blinked his eyes, his mouth attempting to form words, but nothing came out.

Jim and Spock sat there, on the living room couch, looking completely casual after Jim made the announcement.

The two had only been there for a few minutes- on a surprise visit no less- before Jim just came out with it. They'd barely just sat down after all the hugs.

"Married? Already? That was fast." Leonard scoffed, then looked over at Spock. "Is that logical?"

"Logi- come on Bones don't tell me you've already become one of them! No offense honey." Jim accused Leonard before patting Spock on the knee.

"It is logical, Leonard. Where is my father?" Spock changed the subject, and Leonard rolled his eyes.

"He's on his way home." Leonard said, standing up and going to get some liquor. He needed to be not-sober for this. He pulled a bottle of some imported alien alcohol out of a cabinet and took a few large swigs straight from the bottle. As he felt the warmth spread down his throat and up his nasopharynx, he breathed deeply.

Sweet, life-saving alcohol.

"Bones..." Jim appeared next to him, alone. "You... you approve of Spock and I getting married, don't you?" Leonard glared at him for a long couple of minutes before replying.

"I can't believe you're actually asking me that. Of course I do. You too are made for each other! I just wasn't expecting this to happen so soon." He smiled, and Jim breathed out in relief. Leonard put the bottle back. "Only reason I'm drinking is that when Sarek comes home, he's undoubtedly going to be unhappy about you guys. And I'M the one that deals with him."

"The two of you have really gotten close, huh?" Jim raised his eyebrows, and Leonard scoffed again.

"We don't hate each other anymore, if that's what you mean. He even gave me a medical research building." He said with a grin.

"He gave you a building?!" Jim asked, his big blue eyes widening and dark eyebrows raising to his scalp.

"We have a lot to catch up on." Leonard told him, clapping a hand on his shoulder as they returned to the living room.

-

"And then he says- get this, you guys- he said 'Not her husband!'" Leonard and Jim burst out laughing, while Spock's eyebrow rose to his hairline. Leonard still thought that that time at the restaurant was funny. Maybe it had to do with the fact that it was the first real joke he'd heard on this planet.

The door opened and shut, and Sarek walked into the living room. He stopped suddenly when he saw Spock and Jim sitting on the couch. Sarek looked between the two, then looked at Leonard, and then back again.

"Son. Captain Kirk." Sarek greeted them cautiously. He glanced at Leonard. "I told you that I also become affected when you consume alcohol."

"Oh, did you?" Leonard said guiltily, shooting him a small smile. Sarek gave him The Look.

"Father," Spock said, standing up. Jim stood as well, standing his ground next to his man. "Jim and I are to be married. We wished to have the ceremony here, with your permission."

Leonard felt Sarek's emotions in a rush. The man was disappointed, angry, happy, honored, and several other things all at once. Of course his face didn't show any of this, damn brick wall bastard.

"Of course." Sarek said, and the couple visibly relaxed. "You may stay here as well." Jim smiled with glee, patting Spock's shoulder.

Leonard breathed out in relief, somewhat relieved that Sarek took that so well.

\--

As Jim and Spock took a walk around the town, Leonard went over to where Sarek was in the living room. The Vulcan had been staring at the window for the past ten minutes, which wasn't something that Leonard really saw him do... Ever.

"So how are you taking the news?" Leonard asked casually, coming to stand beside him. He shoved his hands in his shorts pockets. He almost always wore shorts and a t-shirt inside, because fuck it was HOT.

"I... am unsure." Sarek replied quietly, his own hands woven together.

"Well, if it helps, Jim has been in love with Spock for years. And he's a smart, capable man. He can handle Spock." Leonard said, and Sarek nodded. Leonard chewed on his lip, not knowing what to say. Sarek was always trying to cheer him up for some reason, but now Leonard had no idea how to reciprocate, dammit!

"You do not need to fret, Leonard. You are helping me." Sarek said, and Leonard glared. Damn bastard read his thoughts.

"Well... good." He replied, nodding his head. He clenched and unclenched his fists in his pockets. They stood there in silence for a few minutes.

"Is it wise to allow them to stay here?" Sarek asked, and Leonard glanced at him. He sensed that he was uncomfortable.

"What, you're afraid that they'll bone while they're here?" Leonard chuckled, but when Sarek's expression didn't change, he frowned. "You know that actually makes sense. I'll talk to them." Sarek nodded, and they stood there silently for another minute. Then something came to Leonard. "The bond that you and Spock share, do you-"

"We are unaware when the other is engaged in sexual acts." Sarek cut him off, and Leonard nodded.

"Right, makes sense. It would be weird if you knew when he, you know. Or if he knew when you did." Leonard joked, but it came out more awkward than he anticipated. The subject made his mind flash to the thought of Sarek partaking in 'sexual acts,' but he shoved it out of his mind before it could even become an actual thought. Hopefully Sarek didn't sense that...

\---

Jim and Spock promised not to have sex in Sarek's house, and Leonard stole Spock away for a while so that he could teach him how to block thoughts from Sarek. Leonard didn't know why he hadn't asked months ago. Spock helped him without question, which was nice.

Now Leonard could think whatever the hell he wanted without Sarek knowing.

All they did for the rest of the day was talk about wedding plans. Everybody agreed that it should be small, and Spock gave Sarek permission to decide who would be their marriage officiant. They also decided to inform Sybok of the event, and extend him an invitation if he was close enough to make it on time.

When everybody went to bed, Leonard was sure to tell Sarek that Spock and Jim promised not to have sex, which relaxed Sarek a little bit. Leonard thought it was hilarious how uncomfortable Sarek got about it.

Not that Leonard wanted to hear his two friends fucking next door.

Leonard laid next to Sarek, unable to sleep. All he wanted to do was go downstairs, sit, and maybe have a drink. Read some. He just wasn't tired.

When he arrived downstairs, he saw Spock sitting at the table, his arms crossed. Leonard sat across from him.

"Getting cold feet?" Leonard asked, and Spock raised an eyebrow.

"My feet are quite warm." Spock replied, making Leonard roll his eyes. Before he could explain the expression, Spock spoke again. "I apologize for forcing you to be here. Jim also feels very guilty; he cried for six days after we left you here."

"I..." Leonard raised his eyebrows, surprised at the sudden revelation. "I found my place here, and I'm happy now, so it's fine. I know the situation we all were put in, and I would've done the same to either of you. It was a matter of well-being."

"You are not angry?" Spock asked, looking into his eyes.

"I was angry for the first month or so. Then, I guess, things just fell into place for me. Sarek and I get along- for the most part-, and I have a good job." Leonard explained, looking back at Spock.

"You would not like to return to the Enterprise?" Spock asked, and Leonard blinked at him. Of course he would, damn it! Right? He would be leaving Sarek, his job, and all of the people that he'd come to know here. All of that work would've gone to waste, and he realistically wouldn't leave Sarek.

"No, I wouldn't. Not without Sarek at least. But I also can't leave my work. Surprisingly I'm the only one around here who knows how to do anything." Leonard said with a smirk.

"That is... good." Spock replied. Leonard nodded in agreement.


	15. Sybok, wedding, drinks!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter: Sybok!
> 
> Warning: It's not really my intention to make Sybok at all like he was in TOS. I wanted to make him my own little emotional piece of manipulative goof shit. I hope you enjoy him! I do! <3

PART II

Sybok did end up showing up.

Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing was yet to be decided.

That Vulcan was more exorbitant than most humans were, laughing and smiling and glaring and showing any emotion he felt at a time. He was also enthusiastic about other Vulcans being able to show emotion.

Very enthusiastic.

Leonard was walking along the hall upstairs when he heard Sybok and Spock talking. He slowed down to stay outside the door when he heard that it was an argument. He wasn't eavesdropping, he was just... listening in. 

"I cannot believe that you actually gave into dad's bullshit." Sybok said, and Leonard raised his eyebrows from outside. That escalated quickly.

"I do not know what you mean by-"

"Oh Spock, you know exactly what I mean! You let him make you hide your emotions? You're no better than the rest of them. Being half-human, I thought that you would follow my example." Sybok told him, sounding aggressive.

"You left when I was a child. There was no example to follow." Spock replied.

"I was kicked out! By our good-for-nothing father!" Sybok's voice was beginning to raise, so Leonard knocked on the door and opened it. He didn't want anything to get violent.

"Spock! Jim needs your opinion on something about the wedding ceremony." Leonard announced to Spock, acting like he had no idea what they were talking about. Spock nodded, glanced over at Sybok, and left.

"Leonard. Hello." Sybok greeted him with a sigh.

"Look, Sybok. I don't know what your deal is with my- with- with Sarek," Leonard stumbled, already off to a bad start, "but your brother is getting married. This is supposed to be a happy occasion. It would be appreciated if you didn't make any conflict here."

"You're right. But I do have a question for you." Sybok said, and Leonard gestured for him to go ahead and ask. "What's if like being bonded to him?"

"It's great." Leonard deadpanned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Are you trying to start conflict?"

"I just don't understand any of this! That man kicked me out when I was young, he treated Spock and I like shi-"

"Hey! What did I JUST say?! You either stop tryin' to fight everybody, or you leave!" Leonard yelled, holding his head up with dominance. "Do you understand me?"

"Yes, I do." Sybok nodded, frowning at the floor.

"We can talk about it later if you want, but not here. Not now." Leonard told him, and Sybok nodded again.

"I get it. Sorry." He said, and Leonard nodded and pat the man's shoulder. He knew that Vulcans who did show emotion had a hard time putting a hamper on it. That's why Surak showed up in the first place.

\---

"Sarek, your son is an infant." Leonard grumbled after barging into Sarek's bedroom. The man was changing his clothes into something more casual after work, but Leonard ignored that. Nobody stopped Leonard H. E. McCoy from complaining.

"Spock has always been-"

"Not Spock! God, Spock is fine. I meant Sybok. What did you DO to him?" Leonard asked as he flopped down onto the bed. He glared at Sarek, who was very much without pants on. The man paused and looked back at him.

"You assume that it is my fault?" Sarek asked, and Leonard shrugged.

"Sybok said you kicked him out."

"I kicked him out because became hostile towards Amanda." He answered, and Leonard immediately felt bad.

"Oh. I'm sorry." He said, and Sarek nodded at him in forgiveness. He put pants on, and the tingling in Leonard's stomach began to subside. He swallowed and decided to change the subject. "Are you excited about the wedding tomorrow?" He asked, and Sarek gave him a look. "Right, you don't admit to feeling things."

"Leonard, are you going to continue to be difficult?"

"What? I'M being difficult? Come on." Leonard sat up, and looked at the fully clothed man. They gave each other The Look. "Both of your sons have come this far for some family time, and you've barely said a word to either of them. You should be treasuring this time, but instead you've been moping around."

"I have not been 'moping around,'" Sarek deflected, causing Leonard to glare at him. "I am just not as exorbitant as you are-"

"Exorbitant? Really?" Leonard scoffed. He stood up. "Are you saying that because I'm a human?"

"I am saying it because it is true." Sarek replied, annoyingly calm. Leonard nodded and left the room.

Exorbitant. Please, he'd show that old man 'exorbitant.' 

 

Leonard went to his old room that night, still angry with Sarek. He'd given the man the cold shoulder the rest of the day- well, it was more like they were giving each other the cold shoulder. Regardless, Leonard wasn't spending the night with the man.

He pulled the blankets angrily to his chin, snuggling into the bed. It wasn't quite as comfortable as Sarek's, nor as warm throughout the night. But Leonard could cope. He was a strong, independent man, damn it.

\---

Then it was wedding day.

Since it was being held on Vulcan- practically in Sarek's backyard-, they opted for a human ceremony to best mix the cultures of the two. Sarek had acquired the help of T'Vosh, the half-Betazoid half-Vulcan, to officiate their marriage. Of course, she was bouncing with joy over it.

Leonard and Sarek had been given free-reign to invite guests, as long as they wouldn't be arrogant assholes (which the planet was overpopulated with). Leonard invited his best comrade, Tlonn. Sarek invited a healer named Seran.

And, of course, the crew was invited as well. Sulu, Chekov, Nyota, Scotty, Christine, and M'Benga all came down to witness the union of the Enterprise's power couple.

After everybody got their heartfelt greetings and awkward introductions out of the way, they all took their places outside. Jim and Spock stood before an arch, T'Vosh between them, and the rest of them sat in chairs as the audience. The area was decorated with local flowers, and a table of delicious foods. It was like a nice, old-fashioned Earth wedding. Leonard approved.

The ceremony went off without a hitch, the humans (and Sybok) cheering when Jim and Spock kissed, and the Vulcans trying not to flinch from the noise. Leonard hugged Jim, Sybok hugged Spock, Leonard hugged Sybok, it was all a hugging marathon. Except Leonard didn't hug Sarek, because he was still mad at him.

Then it was time for the after party. Which meant ALCOHOL!

Leonard busted out all his liquor, serving out drinks to the humans left and right. Scotty and Chekov even brought their own scotch and vodka, so there was no shortage of alcohol for everyone. Much to Sarek's chagrin, Leonard soon got into a vodka-drinking competition with Chekov.

After many drinks, Leonard was leaning up against Christine as she and M'Benga caught him up on Sickbay News. His cheeks felt flushed and his mind swam as he only heard every other word the two of them were saying. A wave of nausea hit him, but he drowned it out with more alcohol, and all of his senses melted together.

Eventually, Jim appeared. "Really Bones? You're getting wasted on my wedding?"

"You- you're the one who- you left me." Leonard slurred out his words, trying to figure out how to make his brain properly tell his mouth what to do. "This is pl-payback, kid. Drink- you should- you- grab some scotch and join with me." He tried to playfully punch Jim's shoulder, but his fist missed by about a foot.

The drink in his hand disappeared, and suddenly he was leaning on Spock. Leonard had no perception of how much time had passed. "Doctor, do you need to lay down?" The half-Vulcan's voice asked, and Leonard laughed loudly.

"Nah I'm just- I- I'm only gettin' started!" He exclaimed, wrapping his arm around Spock's shoulders. Sybok and a few others laughed at the scene, which didn't make Leonard's grin go away. "Congrats Spock. Hey, are you- am I- because the bond, you know, you're like- you're kinda my son!" Leonard laughed as Spock's expression became horrified. "And Sybok! C'MERE SON! MY BOY!"

Leonard detached himself from Spock and wobbled over to Sybok, arms open wide. The Vulcan caught him in a bear-hug, and they clapped each other's backs. They pulled away, and Sybok said, "Well, DAD, I think you should go lay down."

"No way, I wanna- we're all- I'm CELEBRATIN'!" Leonard punched a fist in the air, and the half-drunk crowd cheered along with him. "T-TO THE UNION- TO THE LOVE AND- AND MARRIAGE OF SP- OF JIM 'N' SPOCK!" He cheered, and everybody cheered back.

"TO JIM AND SPOCK!!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you were looking forward to more details about the wedding. Writing it in detail wasn't really my initial intention. :)


	16. Sex with Sybok

Leonard woke up and groaned immediately from the splitting pain in his head. Worst. Hangover. Ever.

He lifted his head and looked around. He was laying outside, in the yard, next to several other sleeping bodies. For fuck's sake, they were hopeless partiers. Playing cards were scattered around the group, cups of spilled liquids littered the ground, and everyone was half-naked. The humans must have shred off layers due to the heat (or maybe they played strip poker?), and Sybok probably just joined in on the fun. Spock and Jim were nowhere to be found, as well as the other Vulcans.

Leonard stumbled into the house and grabbed himself a cup of water.

"Good morning!" Leonard jumped, and turned swiftly to see Sybok stretching and walking into the kitchen. The movement made Leonard's head spin, and he fought off the urge to vomit.

"You follow me in here?" Leonard grunted, leaning against the counter and drinking his water. Sybok snickered and stood near him.

"Maybe," he shrugged innocently. "Hey, I'm leaving today. Do you want to come with me?" Leonard almost choked on his water.

"Why? I don't even know you." Leonard frowned.

"We got to know each other pretty well last night, Leonard. Very well." Sybok wiggled an eyebrow, and Leonard's stomach dropped. He realized then that both he and Sybok were both shirtless.

No, no no. Leonard couldn't have. He WOULDN'T have. The last thing he remembered was calling Sybok his SON for fuck's sake.

"Nice try, Sybok. I know nothing happened." Leonard chuckled weakly, but Sybok remained serious.

"Well, think what you want. That doesn't change anything." Sybok shrugged, and Leonard felt more and more sick. "Come with me. We'll have so much fun together."

"Regardless of whether or not something happened last night- and I'm not saying anything DID- because we DIDN'T- but IF something happened- which it did NOT- I wouldn't go with you. I'm not leaving my life behind again." Leonard stammered out, wishing his headache would just go AWAY.

"Leonard-"

"No means no. Son." Leonard added the 'son' for extra effect, and walked up to his room. He pulled a shirt on, yawned, threw up in the bathroom, brushed his teeth, the usual.

Then he started investigating.

"I ken't remember anything past our drinking competition," Chekov admitted, blushing.

"I don't think anything like that happened... but I can't remember the whole night clearly. I'm sorry, Len." Nyota told him with sympathy.

"Lad, I cannae remember a thing after poker," Scotty said.

"No clue. He's totally hot though, man." Sulu said cheekily, earning him Leonard's dirtiest glare.

Okay, time to find the Happy Couple.

He went to Jim and Spock's room, and knocked before entering. Spock was inside, getting dressed.

"Oh, thank God, Spock," Leonard invited himself in, shutting the door behind him. Spock looked displeased at the intrusion. "I have an important question."

"What, Leonard?" Spock asked, irritation clear in his voice as he grabbed a shirt. Leonard swallowed thickly.

"Did... did I do something horribly wrong last night? Maybe with Sybok?" He asked as Spock finished pulling his shirt on.

"You do not remember?" Spock asked, giving him a look. Leonard was about ready to vomit again. Yep. He was going to be sick.

"Oh god. Oh, lord. Oh shit." Leonard put his hand on the wall for support. "I didn't. Please tell me I didn't do that Spock. Tell me I didn't fuck your brother."

"... You did not." Spock answered, and Leonard shook his head.

"Of course I fucking did! FUCK!" He punched the wall, and Spock grabbed his wrist firmly to prevent him from doing it again.

"Leonard! You did not have sex with Sybok. I am telling the truth." Spock said, boring his gaze into Leonard.

"I didn't?" Relief flooded through him, and he felt weak. "Oh thank god."

"You did insult my father, however." Spock told him as he released his wrist. "I cannot recall the entire conversation, as I was not listening, but I do remember you yelling: 'I don't care about your non-existent feelings, you pretentious piece of goblin ass.'"

Leonard blinked.

Pretentious piece of goblin ass. Real eloquent, Leonard Horatio. Great job.

Well, maybe Sarek deserved it. Maybe the Vulcan was being a bitch. Not Leonard's issue.

\--

Sarek and Leonard avoided each other throughout the day.

Jim and Spock said their farewells, as well as the rest of the Enterprise crew. Leonard hugged them all, including Spock. Chekov cried a little, hugging him back tightly. It made the goodbyes so much harder. Somehow, it was harder to say goodbye now than it was the first time.

Leonard wanted nothing more than to leave with them. Having them there just made him feel homesick. He missed the Enterprise like he would miss the sun if it disappeared. Or alcohol. Or life.

He tried not to think about it as he trudged through his day. He worked a half shift, which was spent mostly chatting with Tlonn and nagging at T'Puan. Nobody died, no plagues broke out, nothing exciting happened. It was just a normal, useless day.

That didn't help the tugging on Leonard's heart.

So when Sybok re-propositioned him that night in the kitchen, Leonard was tempted. He was oh, so tempted to say yes. Sybok lived on adventure. He had friends with a ship of their own, and they went to places where even the Federation didn't have clearance to go. He chewed on his lip for a full minute, and even then he couldn't bring himself to say no.

"I have responsibilities here," Leonard said weakly. "I have to stay with Sarek."

"Sarek abandoned me to the galaxy. He can fend for himself way better than I ever could." Sybok argued, and Leonard was almost convinced. "Think of the adventures, Leonard. There are so many systems that the Fed hasn't even touched yet. There are life forms out there being overwhelmed by disease- we don't even have a doctor on board our ship!"

"No doctor?! Y'all are idiots." Leonard grumbled, shaking his head.

"Come with us. Leave Sarek behind. He's a pretentious ass, remember?" Sybok said, and then suddenly Leonard snapped. Something in him, deep inside, fired like a gun, or a stick of dynamite.

"Okay, YOU don't get to insult him like that. It's one thing if I do it, but you do not have that right." Leonard pointed an accusing finger at Sybok.

"Why can't I? I have more right to hate him than anyone." Sybok defended, and Leonard scoffed.

"That's exactly why you shouldn't talk shit! That is precisely the reason why it is NOT okay! It's okay for me to do it because I DON'T hate him! Everything I say is automatically false! But when you say it, and you mean it, that makes it... it's..."

"So you're allowed to be an asshole because you're lying about it?" Sybok asked, which was a good point.

"I'm allowed to be an asshole because..." Leonard trailed off, not knowing what to say next. He opened and shut his mouth, trying to come up with more excuses. "You know what, I'm not allowed to be an asshole, okay? Fine. But that doesn't mean that you're allowed to, either."

"You're not the boss of me, Leonard." Sybok stepped forward, his stupidly tall frame almost towering over the doctor.

"You're right, I'm not the boss of you," Leonard said, shoving Sybok back. "But that doesn't mean I can't boss you around. You're my son, remember?"

"Unfortunately for you, I never minded my father." Sybok shoved Leonard back, almost making him fall on his ass. Okay, maybe picking a fight with someone taller and three-times his strength was a bad idea...

Leonard and Sybok ended on the floor, swinging and missing punches, pulling at hair, banging each other against the tile, kicking relentlessly. They were evenly matched, almost. They dodged each other's hits seamlessly, and Leonard ended up with his fist smashing against the floor more often than he liked.

Leonard's foot was half-way to Sybok's ass when rough hands separated the two.

"Why are the two of you fighting?" Sarek asked, holding them both by their shirts. He looked between them, scary calm.

"Sybok was being an ass." Leonard shrugged.

"So was Leonard. But evidently it's okay for HIM to be an ass." Sybok rebutted.

"Stop." Sarek demanded, letting them both go. He looked tired. Leonard was tempted to reach through the bond, to see how the man was doing, but he decided not to. It wasn't a good time for prying. "Sybok, were you not leaving?"

"Leonard?" Sybok looked at him with innocent eyes. Leonard blinked at him. After the fighting, the deceit, and the insults- the Vulcan STILL wanted Leonard to go with him? Christ...

"Sybok..." Leonard put a hand on the man's shoulder. "Get out before I put you in the hospital."

"You'd be the one in the hospital." Sybok taunted, and Leonard bit.

"You wanna bet, kid?" He pushed the Vulcan's shoulder, ready for the fight. He was so ready to just teach this kid a lesson.

Sarek grabbed Sybok by the arms, and despite the younger man's struggles, he was no match for his father. Sarek forced him out the front door, giving him a push before saying, "Goodbye, Son." He shut the door.

Leonard suddenly felt very alone with Sarek. He felt a wetness on his hand, and he looked at it to see blood weeping from his knuckles. Well, at least he beat the shit out of the floor. Or did the floor beat him?

He left to bandage his hand, and afterwards, Sarek was nowhere to be seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Sybok D:


	17. *BONUS CHAPTER!*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for the bonus chapter!
> 
> For those of you who don't know, I put out bonus chapters for every 100 kudos that a story gets. The bonus chapters ARE a part of the story. The only difference is that bonus chapters have GUARANTEED FLUFF (and/or smut, depending on the current story).

Leonard was avoiding things. He avoided Sarek, sleep, food, and even independent study. He was the champion of avoidance.

The only thing he didn't avoid was his work. In fact, he was drowning himself in it. It took Tlonn's chiding for Leonard to actually go home four hours after shift ended. Tlonn worked night shift now, so Leonard couldn't get away with staying at work overnight anymore.

It had been a few days since the fiasco. The wedding, Sybok, drunken mistakes, sober mistakes. Leonard was a ball of regret, too stubborn to admit it, but too human to not let it get to him.

Over the days, with his self-induced isolation, he'd been forced to think about things. He'd lay awake into the wee hours, analyzing his whole goddamn life.

All he wanted was a nice, peaceful shore leave. He never asked for the bond. He never asked to be stuck on this desert planet. He never asked to be an asshole with a drinking problem. Yet there he was: bonded with an irritating Vulcan man, living on a desert planet, and losing sleep over being an ass.

One specific night alone in bed, though, Leonard had lost enough sleep that he actually let his curiosity win over his morals. He reached out with his mind (whatever that meant), across the walls between them, and tried his best to see what Sarek was feeling. Between a small amount of experience, and everything that Spock had taught him, invading Sarek's privacy while the Vulcan was asleep was pretty easy.

It was NOT easy to stay in. Leonard retreated after mere seconds, hardly getting the chance to process anything that he felt through the bond. What he did feel is what made tears run down his face.

Leonard had a long history of being a jackass. He didn't know that it hurt Sarek so much, though. He didn't know that the man was really effected by it at all. What he could comprehend from the bond now, though, is that Sarek only sat and took all of these insults because he was afraid that Leonard would leave.

Leonard took that vulnerability and abused it. It was like he was beating Sarek with a stick while the man was already down. He was beating someone who wouldn't even think about fighting back.

That revelation succeeded in making Leonard feel like shit.

Sarek gave him a nice place to live, a fucking building, a birthday!- and what did Leonard give the man in return? Insults. Abuse. He was abusing him.

He wasn't aware of how or when he got there, but Leonard quietly crept through the door of Sarek's bedroom. The bedside lamp was on, and Sarek was awake. His legs were slung over the side of the bed, and he was just... sitting. No doubt he woke up when Leonard intruded his mind. Leonard sat next to him.

"I'm sorry," Leonard began, wringing his hands together. Sarek was silent next to him. The man looked tired. "I never should have been so horrible towards you. I keep blaming you for things that aren't your fault. I am so sorry for that."

He paused, waiting for any reply. Sarek just stared at the floor.

"Tell me when I'm being an ass. Fight me." Leonard demanded. "I'm not going anywhere if you do. I'm never leaving."

"You were tempted to leave with Sybok," Sarek finally spoke, and Leonard snorted.

"Okay, maybe a little, before I realized that I would be leaving too much behind. Plus, the manipulative bastard tried to make me think that he and I slept together." He chuckled, before feeling an angry burst flare up from Sarek's side of the bond.

"He did what?" The Vulcan asked, but Leonard elbowed him playfully.

"It's fine, nothing happened." He reassured him. The anger subsided, slowly. Leonard swallowed and crawled onto the other side of the bed, getting under the blankets. Sarek wordlessly laid down as well before turning off the lamp.

In the darkness, Leonard felt around and found Sarek's hand. He took hold of it, determined to never let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO THE USER Agentcathams! Every time my eyes quickly pass over the list of kudo-givers, I see your username and it makes me laugh like no other. I can only ever initially read it as Agent Cat Hams, making me picture an important looking feline with thick thighs. THANKS!


	18. Making the world a better place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY for the super late update! College has been so hectic for me, and I have a lot going on in my life right now. A big thank you to those of you who have been sticking with me!

Leonard woke up groggily from the sun filling the room with light. As he opened his eyes, he realized that he was spooning Sarek, who had his back facing Leonard’s torso. Leonard was too tired to care, though; he was warm, he was extremely comfortable, and he was too physically tired to move his body. He just closed his eyes again, and snuggled closer to Sarek.

Sarek had other plans, though. He jumped out of bed immediately, earning a frustrated noise from Leonard.

“Christ, sorry,” he remarked sarcastically, watching Sarek open the drawers of his dresser.

“It is not you; I am late for work,” Sarek replies, to which Leonard burst out laughing.

“YOU are LATE?!” Leonard cried out, wiping a tear from his eye. Sarek gave him The Look, but it did little to dampen his amusement. Until realization hit him, and his smile dropped. “Oh god, I’m late too. Fuck!”

Leonard leapt out of bed and hurried to the bathroom, where he got in the shower and began scrubbing himself furiously. Sarek joined him with a lifted eyebrow, and Leonard smirked before handing him the soap.

“Don’t drop it,” he said with a wink, but Sarek only blinked at him.

“I shall endeavor not to,” he replied, earning an eye roll from Leonard. That Vulcan really needed to hurry the hell up and learn some human humor.

Leonard cleaned himself swiftly, trying not to touch nor look at his shower-mate. That didn’t stop his heart from hammering in his chest, or his cheeks from blushing. He chided himself mentally for feeling like such an awkward teenager.

Leonard finished before Sarek, relieved his bladder, washed his hands, brushed his teeth, and got dressed- all with a nervous feeling in his gut. He almost fell down the stairs before stopping by the kitchen to grab a fruit that closely resembled an apple. He bit into it, savoring the sweet taste. It may have looked like an apple, but boy it tasted so much better than one. 

He and Sarek exited the house together, and walked together until they had to part ways. Leonard was still mauling the fruit like a child, but Sarek turned to him and held out two fingers. Leonard looked at the fingers, then up at Sarek’s emotionless face, then to his own fingers. He reached out and brushed his index and middle fingers against Sarek’s, and he could feel the Vulcan’s joy through the bond. Leonard smiled.

When he got to work, T’Puan was immediately on his ass, but Leonard was NOT taking her shit today. Not today, as he already had too swift of a morning to get out of his Morning Mood. As they were walking down the hall, she was ranting to him about him being human and irresponsible. Leonard sighed before saying loudly, “Yeah, sorry, I slept in because I was wrapped around my Vulcan bondmate, who also slept in!”

T’Puan blinked and looked at him openly aghast. Leonard smirked. He knew that discussing anything intimate was a major taboo in Vulcan social norms. Especially when one person was your boss, and the other was an ambassador for your people.

Leonard left her there to collect herself as he checked into his office to see what cases awaited him for the day.

—

“Hassu, why is your bondmate here?” Tlonn asked, and Leonard snapped his head up from the PADD he was holding.

“Okay first of all,” Leonard began, but Tlonn gave him The Look.

“I know. I just violated patient privacy, but technically he’s not a patient at the moment. You would kill me if I did not alert you, though, would you not?” Tlonn raised an eyebrow, and Leonard snorted.

“Man I wish Sarek adopted humor as swiftly as you have,” he said, glancing down at the PADD to get out of editing mode on a patient’s file. He didn’t want to accidentally press something he didn’t want to (it wouldn’t be the first time- he had to host a staff meeting to explain that one of his patients wasn’t actually diagnosed with “aalsjdufjb”). “Anyway, what’s he in for? Please tell me he’s not dying.” Leonard sighed.

“He is not. He escorted a woman here, who is now in a private room. Both of them have requested numerous times that only you treat her.” Tlonn clasped his hands behind his back, and Leonard squinted.

“Alright,” he shrugged and tossed the PADD at Tlonn, who awkwardly caught it in surprise.

Leonard made his way down the halls before he saw a door marked with his color. Each doctor had a color, so that they could navigate their patients easier. It was a fun little system to introduce to the Vulcans, who had never even thought about that before. Leonard’s color was navy blue.

He knocked before walking into the room. A young woman who he didn’t recognize was sitting on the bed, her closed-in posture making her look small. Leonard closed the door gently behind him, his heart sinking a bit when he saw that Sarek was not with her.

“Hello, I’m Dr. McCoy,” Leonard told her as he sat down on a stool near the bed. “You can call me ‘Doctor’ or ‘Hassu’ if it’s easier for you.” Many Vulcans who we’re not as well versed in English had difficulty pronouncing his name, so he liked to save people the embarrassment. “What’s your reason for this appointment?”

“I wish to have an abortion,” the woman said, and Leonard nodded. He wondered briefly why she wanted him to do the procedure and not anybody else. “I want there to be no record of my visit.” She added.

“The record would only be accessible to me-“ Leonard began, but the woman was already shaking her head, so he stopped. She looked agitated, her hands clasped together tightly, and she kept looking at the door like somebody was going to barge in at any moment. Leonard turned and locked the door, and she visibly relaxed. “Alright, well, I’ll have to do a general health exam- don’t look at me like that, I’m not treating you at all if I don’t know your overall health beforehand. How far along are you?” He asked.

“4.282 weeks...” the woman answered quietly, and Leonard nodded as he stood and put gloves on. When he approached her to check her vitals, she burst out crying. “I- I apologize...” She said with her head down, and Leonard handed her a box of tissues without batting an eye.

“It’s perfectly okay,” Leonard replied. He wanted to know her name, but he felt like she never told him for a reason. He put the pieces together pretty quickly. “Sarek took care of everything else, I’m sure.” Leonard said, and she nodded.

“Yes...” She said, wiping her face with a tissue as she sniffed. She calmed down a bit in order to tell her story. “There is talk among the people- that the kevet-dutar Sarek and his bondmate have been assisting with... ‘sensitive’ matters. I met with him in his office, to alert him of the man who had... taken advantage of me.” She sobbed more here, and Leonard nodded to show his support to her. “He directed me here, assuring me that you would perform the abortion without asking information from me.”

“Do the other staff make you feel uncomfortable?” Leonard asked her gently, removing his gloves and tossing them into a waste bin.

“No, but they do- they do judge others. Sarek trusts you, as do many others within the community, and so I trust you.” The woman explained, and Leonard nodded again.

“You don’t have to tell me anything that you don’t want to,” Leonard told her, and she nodded gratefully. “If I ever make you feel uncomfortable, there is a female doctor here who I know will treat you the same as I would.”

“I want you,” she said, and Leonard nodded once more.

“Okay. I am going to take your vitals. Are you okay?” He asked as he stood to grab a new pair of gloves and she nodded her consent. Leonard got to work.

—-

“Why are we the only decent people around here?” Leonard sighed as he lounged on the couch, book in hand. Sarek raised an eyebrow at him from the chair where he sat.

“I seem to recall you being quite the ass,” Sarek retorted, causing Leonard to chuck his book at the Vulcan, who caught it promptly. Goddamn cat reflexes. 

“I know, I mean morally,” Leonard looked up at the ceiling.

“While Vulcans are genetically inclined towards progressive thinking, it is utilized for more within the technological industry than society.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” Leonard sighed again. “We got a lot of work to do around here.” He smirked at Sarek, causing a flutter of contentment to spark across the bond.


	19. Field trip

“So can’t a Vulcan identify as a Romulan? And vice versa?”

Sarek looked like he could cut someone with his glare. Leonard tried not to laugh at the malicious expression. 

“... Distinct physical and behavioral properties have evolved between the two races,” Sarek said, eyeing Leonard, who was sitting on the couch. Leonard had been reading up on some Vulcan history lately.

“Yeah, but, back in the day it was Vulcans who settled Romulus, right?” Leonard asked. “It seems like more of an identity than a configuration of genetics.”

“It is a number of combined things,” Sarek said primly.

“Would you ever identify as-“

“No. I would not.” They gave each other The Look.

Leonard enjoyed these moments. He liked being able to pick at the Vulcan. It was especially nice when Sarek would be sarcastic back at him, trying to get a response from him. The man had progressed quite a bit with accepting other people’s emotions. Leonard liked to think that he had a hand in that.

Leonard’s communicator went off. He answered it with a sigh. “Doctor McCoy here, what do you want?”

“Sorry, Doctor, it’s- there’s a- well...”

Leonard huffed impatiently and rolled his eyes.

“Get on with it, Tlonn, what is it?”

“Well it is quite the anomaly, Doctor. A member from a neighboring colony is here-“

“Did they come on foot?”

“Yes,” Tlonn replied, and Leonard rolled his eyes again. Damn Vulcans and their determination to walk across the deserts separating their colonies. “But there is a... a problem, Doctor. This man- he has somehow contracted P’Vosh Syndrome.”

“I...” Leonard blinked and sat up straighter. “I don’t know what that is.”

“It is a very rare disease- there has only been one recorded case of an outbreak-, but it is very dangerous. And VERY contagious.”

“Alright.” Leonard grumbled and sighed. “I’m on my way.” He clicked the communicator off. And made eye contact with Sarek. A grave feeling travelled from Sarek through the bond.

“Be careful,” the Vulcan told him quietly. Leonard nodded and stood. He walked over to where Sarek was sitting, and they brushed fingers softly. Leonard’s body filled with a tender warmth.

-

“Tlonn, I want you to stay here in my stead. T’Puan, go make sure everything is properly packed into the shuttle. And somebody get me a god damn glass of water before I die of heat exhaustion!” Leonard barked out as he strode down the hall, Vulcans bustling about.

They were packing up a shuttle of workers to head over to the neighboring colony to assess the situation. The man who came in ill fell unconscious shortly after arriving, so they weren’t able to determine the status of the colony from which he came.

P’Vosh Syndrome- or PVS-, evidently, was the most complex disease that the Vulcans had ever been faced with. It was so uncommon that they never had any time in history to do any research or tests before the patients died. It only showed up in Vulcan males that carried a certain otherwise harmless genetic trait that could stay dormant for generations. It was only passed on via semen. When the disease became active within the individual, his organs would begin to erode from the inside. The pain would progressively become unbearable.

Leonard was apprehensive. Not because he was facing up against an especially malicious disease, he’d dealt with this sort of thing for years in Starfleet. He was apprehensive because this would be the first time that he would be so far away from Sarek. He didn’t know what sort of side effects would come with the distance. He would’ve just sent his best team members over without him, but he wanted to be there in case the situation was worse than expected.

They’d tried calling up the colony’s hospital to see what was happening, but they denied even having any record of PVS symptoms in a patient. That made Leonard feel pretty suspicious about the situation.

They loaded into the shuttle, and took off.

-

No luck.

Absolutely nothing.

The hospital in the neighboring colony really had no idea what Leonard was talking about.

So they stood out by the road to try and figure out what in the hell to do.

“So what in the hell do y’all reckon we do?” Leonard crossed his arms, he and his team standing in a small circle. They probably look like they were performing a ritual by how they were just standing there like that.

“Perhaps we could inquire upon the locals,” one of the team said.

“A government building may have those informed on societal affairs,” another suggested.

“Children often share such information amongst themselves,” another said.

Leonard nodded, stroking his chin. “All good ideas. Split up and investigate wherever you see fit. I’ll go to some of the stores and restaurants and see if anybody knows anything. Call me if you make any discoveries.”

 

They searched and searched for hours. Leonard got more and more lightheaded as time passed by. Somewhere along the way, he had to sit down and drink some water to keep from passing out.

He didn’t know why he ever thought he could live lightyears away from Sarek and be perfectly fine. The thought hit him like a brick. He couldn’t believe that he was actually encouraging Sarek to undergo kolinahr all those months ago. Oh how far he’s come. He started out hating the man, not standing the sight of him. Now here he was, on the ground and yearning for the man like he was a cold water spring in the middle of a hot desert.

“Excuse me, but are you Hassu McCoy?” Leonard looked over to see a pale, young woman looking down at him.

“Yes ma’am, I am,” Leonard stood up so that he could address her properly. He held up a Vulcan salute, to which she weakly returned. She looked drained of all color, and her lips were chapped. Otherwise, she was very beautiful.

“My name is T’Sana. I need your help. I am gravely ill,” T’Sana coughed into a piece of cloth, and Leonard saw the cloth come away green with blood. “My bondmate travelled to your village for help. He and I both have P’Vosh Syndrome.”

Leonard blinked at her before looking around. He saw some people glancing in their direction.

“How about we go somewhere more private?” Leonard suggested, and T’Sana nodded. She led him towards her house as he called up the others in his team to tell them to stop looking.

Once inside T’Sana’s house, Leonard gestured for her to sit on a chair so that he could scan her with a tricorder. Once he did, the big question in his mind was immediately answered. Only males could contract PVS, but T’Sana had been assigned male at birth. Unfortunately, medical science hadn’t progress enough so that thing like this could be avoided.

“So you have P’Vosh Syndrome,” Leonard spoke as he saw the disease already wreaking havoc on her internals. “Why aren’t you in a hospital, and why did your bondmate go all the way over to me to get help?”

“We... we wanted you to treat us,” T’Sana said hesitantly. “The head doctor at this hospital is my father, and he disapproves of me. I did not want to face him, nor did my bondmate.” Leonard nodded.

“Well, regardless, we gotta get you in hospital care stat. Not much is known about PVS, so it might be more risky to take you to my hospital.” Leonard said, but T’Sana looked determined.

“I will go with you there. I will not be persuaded otherwise.” She demanded, and Leonard nodded. No use arguing with the woman.

He called in his team, and they took the shuttle back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to do more with this, but I am so so sick, so sorry if this all turns out not-good (horrible). Hopefully you guys enjoyed it at all.
> 
> Please give me your feedback. I always appreciate it.


	20. The most eventful chapter in a long time

Anger flared through the bond. It was fierce at first, but grew tired as time passed on.

Such was the pattern of frustration when Leonard was faced with complications during work. Every little thing sparked up flames within the bond, which only fluctuated until he returned home. Sarek often took comfort in the fact that Leonard was the calmest while with him.

But today, Leonard had to journey from the colony. Sarek was only granted a brief call from his bondmate before he departed, during which Sarek had failed once again to convey his feelings to the man. That was only typical of him.

Sarek had loved Amanda. He was swept away by her grace and charms long ago. But Amanda and Leonard were very different. While they both expressed disapproval for life based upon logic, Amanda did not challenge Sarek. She chided him to change, and begged him to see her way. Leonard demanded empathy in order to gain improvement. He did not yield to Sarek’s attempts to dissuade him.

Leonard was a pillar that held its foundation through any storm or attack. He was a leader. He thrived wherever he was placed. Sarek admired this in the human.

Leonard was the best thing that had happened to Sarek since Spock had been born.

But Leonard was away, and Sarek became weak. He left work and rested at home to await his bondmate. His other half. His love.

-

“Get your hands off her, you damn dirty ape!” Leonard yelled at a nurse who came in to collect a goddamn skin sample from T’Sana. He received a dirty look from the nurse, but the Vulcan left anyway. He rolled his eyes.

“Thank you,” T’Sana said, and Leonard huffed. 

“They need to calm down with their tests. We have all we need. You’re not getting any skin irritation or anything. Right?” He eyed T’Sana, who was laying on a biobed. She shook her head.

T’Sana and her bondmate, Saalo, both had their own separate rooms. It had been a few hours since they arrived back with T’Sana. They had half a day more to live if Leonard didn’t come up with some sort of treatment. He had them jacked up with enough pain meds so that the pain wasn’t too severe, but the strain was clear on their faces.

“Is there anything you need right now to feel more comfortable?” Leonard asked, and T’Sana shook her head again.

“Are you-“ she began to cough, weakly holding a tissue to her mouth. It quickly became soaked with green blood. “Are... Are you any closer to-“ she began coughing again, and it was clear that talking was painful for her.

“We’re tryin’ the best we can,” Leonard replied. He couldn’t recall all the times he’d said that throughout his career. T’Sana didn’t look convinced. Leonard smiled weakly at her before exiting the room. He stood in the hallway and took a deep breath.

“We might have found something,” Tlonn said, appearing out of nowhere with a chart in his hands. Leonard jumped in surprise at the man popping up, but his surprise quickly turned to relief.

“God, what is it? Better be good!” Leonard snatched the chart from Tlonn’s hands.

“That chart is unrelated,” Tlonn remarked with amusement, and Leonard glared at him before handing it back. “In Lab Room Three, they have discovered a compound which can kill elements of PVS.”

“But..?”

“But it is also destructive to Vulcan physiology,” Tlonn finished, and Leonard groaned.

“Dammit, man!” He began walking, and Tlonn was immediately at his heel like a well trained dog. “A nuclear bomb could do the same thing but you don’t see me calling that ‘finding something.’ Is that all you got?”

“Well, they’re working on-“

“McCoy!” T’Puan ran up to them from behind, shoving a PADD into Leonard’s grasp. “Saalo’s vitals. He is in critical condition. Tlonn, has LR 3-“

“Nope,” Leonard answered first, looking over the PADD. They showed Saalo’s body functions and pain levels. He was in much worse condition than T’Sana. Leonard felt his stomach drop at the news.

A cool wave of calm came through the bond, and Leonard took a deep breath.

“Okay. Okay.” Leonard nodded, handing the PADD back. Tlonn and T’Puan looked at him expectantly (although the latter wore an expression more like impatience). “Tlonn, go make sure the other lab rooms are working on what Three found. T’Puan, make somebody go to the hospital next door to get more people on this. Keep things moving fast. I’m going to Saalo’s room to... try and buy him some time.” The two nodded, and faithfully went their separate ways.

Leonard went to Saalo’s room. He could try regenerating some of what the PVS was eating away inside the man’s body. It might buy the man a few more hours, at most.

\- - - -

The sun receded into the horizon like the health of Leonard’s patients (his sanity, as well).

No luck. No anything. For hours and hours.

All experiments ended with fatal consequences. All research led to dead ends. They were blind, running in circles, with no scent or sound to follow. Hopeless. 

Until Tlonn jump scared Leonard in the hallway again, saying, “Good news.” Leonard smiled. “The lab that you were just working in got enough insight from you to make some discoveries. They’ve found a compound that will safely eliminate the virus.”

“Yes! Finally!” Leonard grabbed Tlonn’s shoulders excitedly, who stayed stereotypically expressionless despite the situation. “I could kiss you, Tlonn!”

“I would prefer it if you did not; the human kiss is quite unsanitary, and-“

“Okay, now I could punch you.” Leonard said in a mock-serious tone, and Tlonn was speechless for a moment. He opened his mouth to speak, but a gut-wrenching scream rung out, shocking both men.

They began running immediately. The screaming was coming from T’Sana’s room. When they arrived, Tlonn covered his ears and was partially immobilized by the sharp sound. Leonard pushed him out of the way and approached T’Sana, who had tears running down her face as she stood off the biobed. Leonard caught her before she fell.

“T’Sana! What happened?” He asked, making her lay back on the biobed. He had to hold her down, but Tlonn quickly joined in restraining her.

“Saalo! He’s dead!” T’Sana sobbed, clutching her stomach. “He is gone! The bond is gone! It is empty! My Saalo!” Her words broke off into loud sobs, and Leonard swallowed hard. He looked over his shoulder to see a nurse rushing in.

“Go check on Saalo,” Leonard told the nurse, who nodded and swiftly retreated back out of the room.

“He’s... dead...” T’Sana sobbed, tears and snot running down her face. “My Saalo... my Saalo...” Leonard felt dread in the pit of his stomach.

“Doctor, we have the cure ready!” T’Puan announced, walking into the room. T’Sana’s cries became louder again.

“Let me die!” T’Sana begged, looking into Leonard’s eyes. “Let me die with my Saalo!” Leonard looked at Tlonn and T’Puan, who showed no expression.

“She has the right to deny treatment,” T’Puan said over T’Sana’s sobs.

“I know she does. But would it be right?” Leonard asked them. T’Sana’s cold hand grasped his arm weakly.

“You do not know the pain of losing a bondmate,” T’Sana cried quietly, looking into his eyes. “Death is preferable.”

 

Leonard had a few nurses watch over T’Sana while he and a few other employees congregated in the conference room. He caught them all up on the situation.

“But can’t she... I don’t know... heal?” Leonard shrugged, at a loss. “My bondmate lost his former bondmate years ago, but he’s moved on.”

“One is only capable of healing if the person lost was not their best possible match,” A biologist stated.

“We received notice from T’Vosh upon request that Saalo and T’Sana were best suited for each other,” Tlonn said.

“She is perfectly capable of refusing treatment. She has every right to do so.” T’Puan said.

“So if she does refuse treatment, should we...” Leonard hesitated, feeling overwhelmed by all of the blank stares in front of him. “Should we... assist?”

“Assist in her death?” T’Puan asked, and Leonard nodded. The group was silent.

“It’s logical. Right?” Leonard asked. A few in the group nodded silently.

“I will do it,” a doctor decided, and Leonard looked over at her.

“Are you sure?” He asked. She nodded. “Okay. Grant her any final requests. T’Puan, have someone send out the proper PSA’s. If you guys need anything-“

“You should rest,” Tlonn demanded, and Leonard rolled his eyes.

“Tlonn, I’ve been a doctor for-“

“I know. However, your bondmate likely awaits your return after being away from him.” Tlonn said, giving him a knowing look. He clearly sensed how hard this was for Leonard.

“Alright. Call me if you guys need anything.” Leonard said with a final nod, and adjourned the conference.

\- -

It was late at night by the time Leonard made his way through the front door of Sarek’s house. He had been numb the whole walk home. Despite what he tried to assure Tlonn, it didn’t matter how long he’d been a doctor. It still hurt to lose a patient. It hurt even worse to lose two at a time; one from disease, and one from heartbreak.

He couldn’t help feeling affected by the couple’s bond breaking due to Saalo’s death. He could feel it, physically and mentally within him. It was cold, dark, and barren. Like he’d been ejected to outer space to drift there for an eternity until he’d be graced with death. He couldn’t imagine how T’Sana felt.

Leonard trudged into the kitchen and chugged down a glass of water before making his way upstairs. He crawled into bed with Sarek, who woke up immediately from the presence. Sarek turned the lamp on and looked over at him.

“Are you alright?” Sarek asked. Leonard sighed.

“I am now,” he replied with a small smile, feeling warmth spread throughout him as he looked at Sarek’s sleepy-but-alert expression. His t-shirt was wrinkled, his hair a bit messy, and his expression was showing the slightest bit of worry.

Without a second thought Leonard grabbed the man’s face and kissed him roughly. Sarek was hesitant at first, but he rested his hands on Leonard’s face and side and returned the kisses.

When Leonard feared for his rapidly beating heart, he pulled away gently and stroked Sarek’s stubbly face. They laid down together after Sarek turned off the lamp. Exhausted, they fell into a sweet slumber in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y’all liked the story. It ends here.
> 
> HA just kidding, this story might never end.
> 
> HAHA just kidding again, the story is ending soon. Not now, not years from now, but soon.
> 
> How was the wee POV change in the beginning with Sarek? That was fun to write.


	21. L

The day following the events regarding T’Sana and Saalo, Leonard refused to leave Sarek’s side. He was still haunted by T’Sana’s reaction to her bond being broken. All Vulcan composure had been replaced with despair. If she was showing that much emotion, and chose to die instead of being cured of her illness, then surely she was in an unimaginable amount of pain.

Leonard couldn’t stop imagining what would happen if something happened to him or Sarek. The other would be left with nothing. A vacant, empty, dark void with nothing to live for. That scared him more than anything.

So he took a day off work and sat around in Sarek’s office while the man worked. The Vulcan obviously had meetings throughout the day, which Leonard was not permitted to attend, so he just hung out in Sarek’s office until he was finished. He knew that Sarek was slightly annoyed that he was clinging to him like a giant leech, but he just didn’t care. He’d cling all he wanted. Sarek would just have to deal.

He’d explained what happened at work the day prior, but Sarek didn’t really react to it. At least, not like Leonard had. The man stayed blank-faced, said a Vulcan-y version of “what’s done is done,” and that was it. No conversation, no speculation, no consolation. Damn emotionless hobgoblin.

Leonard was glad to spend the day with Sarek though. It calmed his nerves, made him less paranoid about death and loss. It also let him inside the Vulcan’s world, allowed him to see how goddamn boring his job was. Leonard thought his own job was boring at times- well boy was he wrong. He wondered how Sarek did it each day for so many years.

He was just glad that Sarek had gotten to the point where he didn’t have to go any assignments off-planet anymore. Leonard couldn’t afford to leave his hospital building for an extended period of time, and there was no way he could stay on the planet without Sarek. That would’ve been a catastrophe.

Leonard allowed himself to wonder: what would happen if Sarek had stayed on the Enterprise with Leonard as a resident? Or perhaps become an officer? How different would things be? He wondered, maybe, like this story has been written, if there would be a story like that out there eventually.

In the late afternoon, Leonard got called into work to make some executive decisions that couldn’t be made without him. He solemnly left Sarek’s workplace, and trudged through meetings at his own work. Even though it sucked, Leonard felt a lot better after spending the day with Sarek.

He wasn’t sure when the transition happened between not wanting to be near the man to wanting to be near him every moment of every day. It wasn’t bad. He loved it. He relished in the feeling of being with Sarek. He felt more complete than he’d ever felt throughout his entire life. It was weird, but he knew that it was right.

\- - - 

Leonard took a nice, hot shower to relax himself after the day. He felt his muscles in his neck and back loosen up under the hot spray as he cleaned himself. It felt really nice to unwind.

He went to the bedroom to get some clothes, a towel around his waist. Sarek was already on the bed, reading as he often did before sleep. He looked up at Leonard as he walked in, and set his book aside. Sarek stood and went over to Leonard, who stood in place at the man’s approach.

Sarek put his hand on Leonard’s face, and kissed him with noticeable determination. Leonard moaned quietly against the other man’s soft lips, and his cheeks grew hot with a fierce blush. His hands roamed Sarek’s chest as they kissed. The Vulcan’s rougher tongue glided into his mouth and mingled with his own. Leonard rested his hand on Sarek’s side, feeling his rapid heartbeat. The friction between their lips and tongues caused heat to rush to Leonard’s groin, making him grow stiff. 

Sarek gently pushed Leonard down against the bed, and they laid on the soft surface together. Sarek hovered over him, kissing his face and trailing his lips down his neck. He sucked and bit along Leonard’s neck, causing the man to groan. Leonard’s skin burned in each spot that Sarek touched with his lips and hands.

While worshipping his neck, Sarek trailed a hand downwards slowly. He gave Leonard plenty of time to stop him, but he only buried his fingers in the Vulcan’s hair and tugged encouragingly. Sarek unraveled the towel from Leonard’s waist, and wrapped his hand around Leonard’s throbbing cock.

Leonard moaned at the touch, thrusting slightly into the man’s hand. Sarek stroked him lightly, going slow to build tension. Leonard couldn’t stop the little moans escaping him as he was touched by the other man. Sarek kissed a trail down down his chest and abdomen, and Leonard grew harder as he anticipated what was happening. 

Sarek moved lower along Leonard’s body, stopping between his legs. He licked the head of his cock lightly, causing Leonard to moan. Sarek trailed his tongue along the length of his shaft before sucking lightly on the tip. Leonard groaned enthusiastically, grasping the Vulcan’s hair.

Sarek downed the length of Leonard’s cock, causing the man to moan. “Fuck, Sarek, oh fuck,” He closed his eyes at the sensation of his cock in Sarek’s mouth. The Vulcan’s rough tongue worked from the inside as he bobbed his head in a steady rhythm. It took all of Leonard’s strength not to buck his hips as he felt himself letting go.

Sarek used one hand to stroke what little of Leonard’s cock he couldn’t take in, and the other to caress his thigh. Leonard quickly got lost in the sensation, his body tingling with heat and excitement. Sarek picked up the pace, causing insane amounts of pleasure to jolt through his body.

When Leonard felt himself coming close, he tapped Sarek’s shoulder and moaned out, “I’m gonna- fuck, baby, I’m gonna come...”

Sarek took in the entirety of his cock, and Leonard climaxed hard inside the Vulcan’s mouth. Sarek sucked him through his orgasm, making Leonard writhe with bliss. When he came back down from climax, Sarek wiped his mouth and returned to Leonard, who kissed him sloppily. Leonard reached towards Sarek’s crotch, but the Vulcan caught his hand.

“Not tonight. You are tired.” Sarek said, kissing his forehead. Leonard frowned.

“I want to,” he demanded, but Sarek was already covering them with a blanket.

“Tomorrow.” The Vulcan said, his tone leaving no room for argument. Leonard sighed and let himself be spooned by the other man.

“Tomorrow...” He nodded to himself. “I love you.” He added, his cheeks warm. Sarek clung to him.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> W I N K  
>  W I N K


End file.
